Guide to Determine
If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.
BY PETER W. SUDERMAN
- - - -
1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.
2. A bus explodes.
3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know ...
4. ... and you feel compelled to stop it.
5. You are Nicholas Cage.
6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.
7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.
8. A building explodes.
9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.
10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.
11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city ...
12. ... and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.
13. Everyone around you is a model.
14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.
15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization ...
16. ... in slow motion.
17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.
18. You save the world.
19. Your name is Jack.
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