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Your Seat Cushion Doubles as a Personal Flotation Device in the Event of a Water Landing, but Other Airplane Items May Be Useful as Well.BY TRACY MOLLER - - - - Empty soda can: Use shiny bottom of can to reflect sunlight and signal for help. Inflatable plastic bag on oxygen mask: Urine receptacle, just in case thirst becomes unbearable. One leftover airline peanut: Cuts the taste of the urine. Headband from oxygen mask: Remove band from mask and create rudimentary fishing line by attaching safety pin to end of band. The other leftover airline peanut: Attempt to impale nut on safety pin for fish bait. Headphones: After unsuccessful attempt to skewer nut with safety pin, use the headphone cord to garrote the juiciest-looking fellow survivor. Businessman from seat 10D: Lunch. Tray table: Serving platter, for nicest presentation possible given the circumstances. Grandmother from seat 13F: Dinner. Barf bag: Squirrel away uneaten Grandma tidbits for later. Laminated emergency instruction card, from the seat pocket in front of you: Pick your teeth with corner of card after midnight snack. Armrest: Administer firm blows to the snouts of circling sharks. Insipid airline magazine: Stave off Ocean Madness by painstakingly separating sodden pages, memorizing the layout of Atlanta Hartsfield Airport, and wondering what your hotel room on Virgin Gorda might have looked like.
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