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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!
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Your Seat Cushion Doubles as a Personal Flotation Device in the Event of a Water Landing, but Other Airplane Items May Be Useful as Well.BY TRACY MOLLER - - - - Empty soda can: Use shiny bottom of can to reflect sunlight and signal for help. Inflatable plastic bag on oxygen mask: Urine receptacle, just in case thirst becomes unbearable. One leftover airline peanut: Cuts the taste of the urine. Headband from oxygen mask: Remove band from mask and create rudimentary fishing line by attaching safety pin to end of band. The other leftover airline peanut: Attempt to impale nut on safety pin for fish bait. Headphones: After unsuccessful attempt to skewer nut with safety pin, use the headphone cord to garrote the juiciest-looking fellow survivor. Businessman from seat 10D: Lunch. Tray table: Serving platter, for nicest presentation possible given the circumstances. Grandmother from seat 13F: Dinner. Barf bag: Squirrel away uneaten Grandma tidbits for later. Laminated emergency instruction card, from the seat pocket in front of you: Pick your teeth with corner of card after midnight snack. Armrest: Administer firm blows to the snouts of circling sharks. Insipid airline magazine: Stave off Ocean Madness by painstakingly separating sodden pages, memorizing the layout of Atlanta Hartsfield Airport, and wondering what your hotel room on Virgin Gorda might have looked like.
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