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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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Twelve Sequels to Dances With Wolves That, Due to Monetary Constraints, Were Never Produced.

BY ERIC FEEZELL

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Buys Drinks for Wolves

Makes Sweet Love to Wolves

Eschews the Calls of Wolves

Goes Nearly a Year Without Seeing Wolves

Runs Into at Safeway and Has Some Explaining to Do to Wolves

Shrewdly Offers Extra Ticket to See Los Lobos at the Fillmore to Wolves

Once Again, Dances With Wolves

Begins to Seriously See Wolves

Hastily Weds Wolves

Is Repeatedly Untrue to Wolves (NC-17)

Gets Sloppy, Perhaps in a Subconsciously Purposeful Gesture, and Is Discovered by Wolves

Pays Alimony to Wolves

 

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