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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.
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Lines Not Used in Coors Light's "Accomplishments" Advertising Campaign.- - - - I have completed 300 hours of community service. I have eaten Alpo out of the can. I have slept with my second cousin. Twice. I have photocopied my penis and sent it to my buddy's mom. I have had a recurring role on the TV show Cops. I have become a Girls Gone Wild Gold Member. I have drunk the recommended eight glasses of water in a day. Bong water. I have dated a girl for her brains. Her big, lactating brains.
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