You feel poor. We feel poor. Let's feel poor together. This week only, almost everything is half-price in our online store. Escape the holiday rush and cross every name off your list in one cheap swoop. - - - -

Things Not Overheard at a Conceptual-Art Gallery Opening. BY JASON PERSSE - - - - "White wine, red wine. Who do I have to fuck to get a Capri Sun around here?" "Now that you mention it, I have no idea who designed this shirt." "Does naming the work 'Chaos' belie the artist's reliance upon a sparse, monochromatic field, or am I just a pretentious douchebag?" "Well, that's obvious, but what do the other three midgets represent?" "Let me get this straight—the artist is gay and German? You just blew my mind." "I can't. I have to work tomorrow."   MORE LISTS

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