Twenty Underused Yoga Positions.BY TAYLOR KIRKPATRICK AND WALTER SWANSON - - - - Hungry black wallaby You forgot the lead apron Draft dodger looking suspicious Walking on an uneven sidewalk, tripping, making it seem like jogging for a few paces Tree growing toward sun, then nuclear winter Weasel chasing, catching, and raping squirrel Turtle greeting rock, rock not impressed Toe stub, then rest after cussing Lotus addressing lily pads in a racist manner Baby sticking finger in electrical socket Electrician sticking finger in baby Man holding hot fork with thighs Shaved kitten licking twice, then twice more Old woman dressed in outfit that is unbecoming Queechee Gorge One carp, two carp, red carp, dead carp Man with SARS entering elevator with three paranoid asthmatics Garden gnome acting aloof Woman on subway platform seeing someone she knows, waving frantically, then realizing it is a stranger; acting like it was a nervous tick and smiling apologetically to passersby The Bernadette Peters
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