You feel poor. We feel poor. Let's feel poor together. This week only, almost everything is half-price in our online store. Escape the holiday rush and cross every name off your list in one cheap swoop. - - - -

Things I'd Rather Do Than Go See Catwoman. BY BENJAMIN KHARAKH - - - - Build a sandcastle for the sole purpose of having it kicked in my face. Fall from a reasonably high ledge. Swallow several Legos. Rip a dollar into three unequal pieces. Buy an expensive pair of pants and then spill grape juice all over the crotch. Fill out a Mad Libs and then eat it. Have a colonoscopy. Wake up very early and go running.   MORE LISTS

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