- - - -
Issue 35 is nearly here, in all its disappearing-ink glory.
For a very limited time, subscribe to the Quarterly, starting with
Issue 35, and get a FREE Better of McSweeney's, Vol. II.
- - - -
Oft-Overlooked Benefits Enjoyed by Men with Female Names.BY MATT STEWART - - - - Assignment to the women's dormitory in college. Toughened up by regular beatings as a child. Thanks to registration fraud, coed softball team is stacked. Actually getting selected off the backstage list to meet the band. Direct-mail marketing from lingerie companies. Nobody suspects you're the jerk parked in the handicapped spot when name is announced over the supermarket P.A. Weaseling out of the Selective Service. Scoring an interview down at Legs Legs Legs strip club. Oratorical skills improved by daily speech explaining how, in Ireland, there are lots of men named Kelly.
|