Reasons We Can't
Have a Baby, Honey.
BY GEOFF SMITH
- - - -
I would no longer be able to skydive while on PCP.
We can't afford two of every toy I would want.
Honestly, I just don't think we have the room.
The air conditioner is already full of peanuts.
It's cats or babies, not cats and babies.
I don't want to give other parents the satisfaction.
The apartment is barely adultproof.
It's a scam.
My grandparents were born during World War I, my parents during World War II, and we were both born during Vietnam. I vowed a long time ago that my child wouldn't be born while America was at war. Well, wouldn't you know it, now we're in a Global War on Terror with no end in sight!
We might choke on one of its little toys.
I'm afraid I would run afoul of the rugged brand of frontier justice babies administer.
The baby might grow up to be president, just not a very good one.
Train stations make babies nervous. You know I've always dreamed of
owning and operating a small railway siding.
We won't be able to play that game where we put plastic bags on our
heads anymore. That's a fun game.
The batteries in the digital camera are dangerously low as is.
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