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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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Socially Awkward
Situations During
Which It Would Be
Acceptable to Mess
With Texas.

BY BENJAMIN SUMLIN

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Texas shows up to the party already drunk with the girlfriend nobody likes.

Texas partied too late, asks to copy homework.

Texas asks if it would be "cool to hook up with your ex."

Texas has a habit of spending more time than needed in the bathroom.

Texas bogarts the remote just before Lost.

Texas demonstrates little respect for "personal space."

Texas finds and eats the little snack cakes you've been hiding in the back of the pantry.

Texas needs you to cover rent "just until I get back on my feet, man, I swear."

Texas brings up an anecdote about his recent colonoscopy.

 

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