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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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General Broadcasting Standards Concerning Upper-Torso Nudity. BY DAYVID FIGLER - - - - ACCEPTABLE (Can usually be seen on broadcast television) Straight, unpierced males within normal anthropometric ranges Infants—all sexes* (diaper commercials, sitcoms, soap operas) Obese men covered in team colors Pre-op transsexuals prior to hormone treatment (clinical males) Live African women (documentary only) Gender-nominal Muppets within normal anthropomorphic ranges Bikini-clad spring-break participants (non-trampoline-jumping) Girls Gone Wild commercials (up to and just before "flashing" obscured by black boxes) Actor in gorilla suit (portraying male or female gorilla) Female athletes in two-piece bodytard swimwear playing beach volleyball Victoria's Secret models in nonsheer lingerie Side view of mammogram patient (local news or documentary) - - - - GRAY AREA (Station director may opt to not show to protect morality) Shirtless gay men partying at Fire Island with pierced nipples Prepubescent girls* (dramatic works depicting poor children running around tenement) Obese men with technical breast size of 34C or larger (jumping on trampolines) Pre-op transsexuals at the beginning stages of hormone treatment (clinical males) Still photos of dead topless women (crime victims, autopsy documentary) Miss Piggy in a loose-fitting karate gi/Electric Mayhem guitarist Janice in a halter-top Bikini-clad Blind Date contestants dancing to the song "Who Let the Dogs Out?" Women soccer players in sports bras Runway models displaying saucy French couture Plastic-surgery enhancement or reduction of breasts (documentary only and only a glance) Mastectomy patients (documentary only and only a glance) - - - - UNACCEPTABLE (Immense FCC fines) Healthy nondiseased postpubescent females from "Christian" countries Pre-op transsexuals (or "extreme" bar bettors) with implants larger than 32A (clinical males) Post-op transsexuals (clinical females) Human "furries" if there is a suggestion of sexual desire (even fully ensconced in costume) Live African-American women with nipples obscured by metal sheath Infant females or prepubescent girls if the context is "creepy" - - - - * Some states have laws prohibiting children under the age of 18 to pose or to be exhibited in a state of nudity for purpose of visual reproduction in any medium if there is "lascivious intent." In other words, one person's cute picture of their naked kid on a bearskin rug in the wrong hands can be a felony. As always, depravity depends on the mind of the beholder.   MORE LISTS

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