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Millard Kaufman's final novel has arrived!
Pick up Misadventure now—or, see what
you've missed out on thus far by picking up
both Bowl of Cherries and Misadventure
for 27% off the retail price.
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Tom Swifties Excised from the Bible.BY CORY HARRIS - - - - "Seriously, Eve, you were created from my third nipple," Adam ribbed. - - - - "Cain, will you spot me while I try to bench this giant rock?" Abel said bashfully. - - - - "Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty pharaoh!" Moses said anachronistically. - - - - "You know, I hate that Noah guy and big boats get my tummy churning. Weathersaurus is always wrong, anyway. Let's just hang with the unicorns," the T-Rex said dryly. - - - - "Plagues of flies, gnats, and frogs, and now this! FML!" the Egyptian texted boilingly. - - - - "I'm no Jeff Dunham, but still, I wish I had a little boy puppet to hang out with in here," Jonah wailed. - - - - "One of you moms has gotta speak up, because I can't decide if I want to do it lengthwise or widthwise," King Solomon said dividedly. - - - - "Hey, since we're leaving Sodom and all, why don't you turn around so I can see that booty! Oh, sorry, sweetie..." Lot said assaultingly. - - - - "Sorry for posing like this, but I'm asking for your honest opinion: fig leaf ... or no fig leaf?" David asked nakedly. - - - - "You guys will never believe the whacked-out dream I just had," Lazarus said animatedly. - - - - "Thish Teshtament would be sho much schweeter wif a liddle lightnin' god ackshun," said Thor, all hammered. - - - - "Judas, please don't kiss me. You know what this will lead to," Jesus said crossly. - - - - "Jesus of Nazareth? No, can't say I ever heard of the guy, " Peter said cocksurely. - - - - "Look at my hands! There is no way the day of my resurrection will ever be trivialized," Jesus egged on. - - - - "Rapture? Hardly knew 'er!" Tom joked absently. - - - -
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