- - - -
Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!
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Tom Swifties Excised from the Bible.BY CORY HARRIS - - - - "Seriously, Eve, you were created from my third nipple," Adam ribbed. - - - - "Cain, will you spot me while I try to bench this giant rock?" Abel said bashfully. - - - - "Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty pharaoh!" Moses said anachronistically. - - - - "You know, I hate that Noah guy and big boats get my tummy churning. Weathersaurus is always wrong, anyway. Let's just hang with the unicorns," the T-Rex said dryly. - - - - "Plagues of flies, gnats, and frogs, and now this! FML!" the Egyptian texted boilingly. - - - - "I'm no Jeff Dunham, but still, I wish I had a little boy puppet to hang out with in here," Jonah wailed. - - - - "One of you moms has gotta speak up, because I can't decide if I want to do it lengthwise or widthwise," King Solomon said dividedly. - - - - "Hey, since we're leaving Sodom and all, why don't you turn around so I can see that booty! Oh, sorry, sweetie..." Lot said assaultingly. - - - - "Sorry for posing like this, but I'm asking for your honest opinion: fig leaf ... or no fig leaf?" David asked nakedly. - - - - "You guys will never believe the whacked-out dream I just had," Lazarus said animatedly. - - - - "Thish Teshtament would be sho much schweeter wif a liddle lightnin' god ackshun," said Thor, all hammered. - - - - "Judas, please don't kiss me. You know what this will lead to," Jesus said crossly. - - - - "Jesus of Nazareth? No, can't say I ever heard of the guy, " Peter said cocksurely. - - - - "Look at my hands! There is no way the day of my resurrection will ever be trivialized," Jesus egged on. - - - - "Rapture? Hardly knew 'er!" Tom joked absently. - - - -
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