Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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P E O P L E   I' D   H A V E   S E X
W I T H   T O   A V O I D
"D I A L I N G   D O W N   T H E   M I D D L E"
W I T H   C A R R O T   T O P,   A S
R E V E A L E D   B Y   A   R E C E N T
G A M E   O F   "WHO   W O U L D
Y O U   R A T H E R   S L E E P   W I T H?"


BY EVANY THOMAS

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Robin Williams, wearing a Hawaiian shirt still wet with the sweat of an HBO special (top three buttons undone)

Benny Hill's bald sidekick

Anna Nicole Smith

Rich Little doing Paul Lynde doing Bob Crachit

Garth Brooks doing Chris Gaines (i.e., Garth Brooks plus soul patch)

Billy Banks doing it double-time

The guy with the boils from Dune, with the lights on

Lara Flynn Boyle, with the lights off

Gymnast Kerri Strug

The "Spitting Image" Phil Collins puppet

Wild at Heart Willem Dafoe

True Romance Gary Oldman

Island of Dr. Moreau Marlon Brando (plus mini sidekick)

Fight Club Meatloaf

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light" Meatloaf

"Icon of drug use and eroticism" Rick James

"Clean and loving it" Rick James

Paul Reiser, in the impossibly high-waisted pants

Shel Silverstein, in the "sexy pirate with dirty feet" shot from the back cover of Where the Sidewalk Ends

David Lee Roth, 1998 version, in tight, tight stonewashed overalls, one shoulder purposely unsnapped

Captain Lou Albano, with the face rubber bands

Prince, all strawberry scented and duct-taped to the ceiling

Mike AND the Mechanics

Bruce Hornsby AND the Range

The Traveling Wilburys

Matt Damon's teeth

Gerard Depardieu's nose

Maria Shriver's jaw

Dick Van Patten

 

MORE LISTS

 

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