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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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G R A M M A T I C A L L Y   I N C O R R E C T
S E N T E N C E S   I N   T H E   S P A C E
O F   F O U R   P A R A G R A P H S
I N   O N E   L E S S O N   O F
T H E   I N D I A N A   A W A R E
D R I V E R   H O O S I E R
E Z   C O U R S E   O N L I N E
T R A F F I C   S C H O O L


BY JASON BREDLE

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This is a story from a dentist who had a patient get hit from behind at 8 mph and not wearing their safety belt.

Their head snapped back and then forward hitting the steering wheel, knocking almost all of their teeth out of their mouth.

A total of $10,000 in surgeries with no insurance to pay for it.

If you took a box of Kleenex, and shot it out of a cannon into the back of somebody's head, it would kill them.

The little cough medicine in the metal box.

Those cans of soda, eyeglasses, bowling balls on your back-dash, get rid of it!

Everybody at your funeral will be bobbin' their heads, and saying "That's how he died!"

 

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