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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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S H O R T   I M A G I N E D M O N O L O G U E S . - - - - L O C A L   R A D I O   S T A T I O N ' S " ' 8 0 s   H O U R"   W A N T S A   S E C O N D   C H A N C E BY LINDSAY HUNTER - - - - (5/12/04) I remember how it used to be, and I realize how much I miss you. You lost a lot when you lost me. I'm going to make a change; it's going to feel real good. I'm going to be a man in motion. I take a look in the mirror. I want to change my clothes, my hair, my face. I thought that pain and truth were the things that really mattered. But you can't stay here with every single hope you have shattered. I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams. What a pity, you don't understand. I'm going to make you see that there's nobody else here. But your empty eyes pass me by and leave me. I gotta have faith. I would go out tonight, but your kiss is on my lips, and I haven't got a stitch to wear. I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. How can I forget you, when there is always something? Baby, where did our love go? Come and save me tonight. I want to dance with somebody who loves me. Let me be your private dancer. My God, what have I done? A man can tell a thousand lies, but I've kept it hidden well. Please don't go. You got what I need. If you want it, you got it. As long as we've got each other. Is this the end of the world as we know it? Hush, hush. Keep it down now. What have you done for me lately? I drove all night to get to you. Is that alright? I would walk five hundred miles just to be the man. My hands are tied. Nothing to win, nothing left to lose. If you leave, don't leave now. Who's going to drive you home? There doesn't seem to be anyone around. I'll be watching you; it's my prerogative. I'm on the hunt. I'm after you. Get out of my dreams. Get into my car. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is here in my car. I know this much is true. With or without you, I can't live. I'd be better off dead than to live without you. Make it easy on yourself. I'll make you fall for me, I promise you. Please, please, please, let me get what I want. This time. - - - - CURRENT SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN EXCERPTS FROM THE PANORAMA SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL