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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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M O S T C E N S O R E D - - - - - - - - CHICAGO November 18, 1999 -- Are you sick and tired of all the Y2K and millennium hype? Or maybe you're just plain sick and tired. In either case, there's now reason to hope that the end of this millennium may truly be a cause for celebration. Millennium Hell (www.MillenniumHell.com), the authority for poking fun at all things millennial, is proposing an unusual solution to the all of our Y2K fears and problems-- declaring that the last week of the 1999 be designated a national holiday. "So many of the country's leading businesses are demanding that employees stay close to home in case of a Y2K crises, we thought it just made sense to give these hardworking Americans one last chance to party (or repent) before the clock strikes twelve for possibly the last time." says David Hernandez, an award-winning advertising creative executive, and one of the visionaries who created this 'project from hell.' Starting Monday, December 26th and ending Monday, January 3, 2000, Millennium Hell is proposing a week-long national holiday as "the perfect solution to combat pre-Y2K stress and millennial overkill". But, what to call this new once-in-many-lifetimes holiday? Why Millennium Hell Week, of course. "Mankind has worked hard for 2,000 years. It seems like people deserve a breather. A chance to sit back, relax and have some fun- especially if it really does turn out to be the end of the world as we know it," said Hernandez, who along with site editor Brad Vom Baur, have contacted John Koskinen, The White House Y2K Czar, to recommend Millennium Hell Week be recognized as a national holiday. "We think of Millennium Hell Week as a very family friendly initiative that will encourage Americans to stay home that final week and have fun with loved ones or possibly savor their last dysfunctional moments together on Earth," said VomBaur. A weekly Web magazine, Millennium Hell offers irreverent fun and sometimes scathing commentary about all things millennial - and the hype and hoopla surrounding the end of the century. The latest issue, found at www.MillenniumHell.com, gives the Top 10 Reasons the Last Week of 1999 Should Be Declared a National Holiday including, more time to exchange Christmas ties and socks for Kevlar vests and cans of SPAM, will help clear holiday backlog at Orkin to spray homes for Y2K Bugs, allows for much needed additional prep time to apply Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve makeup, and plenty of time to select "the outfit" for Judgement Day. Each issue also spotlights a "stupid" prophecy of the month. This week, "Pyramidiots" are planning an End of World Party with Satan and George Bush in Egypt! And if you want to share Millennium Hell with others, that can be done, too, with ready-to-send e-mail postcards that say, "Have A Nice Doomsday (tm)," "Greetings from Millennium Hell," "Y2K NON Compliant and Damn Proud of It," and the always-popular "Go to Hell." Or show how you feel about millennium overkill by ordering a "Have A Nice Doomsday (tm)", "Millennium Hell(tm)" or, the ever popular, "FU2K(tm)" T-shirt at www.MillenniumHell.com. "With all the 'real life is stranger than fiction' hype and hoopla, we felt millennium madness was ripe to be satirized," says Brad Vom Baur, the site's editor. "Besides, with this kind of ‘real life is stranger than fiction' material, Millennium Hell's brand of ironic humor will be going strong well into the next millennium." And what do Hernandez, VomBaur and the rest of the Millennium Hell staff have planned for Millennium Hell week? "We plan to gorge ourselves on nothing but "official" millennium products during those seven glorious days. Starting with a heaping bowl of The Official Cereal of the Millennium, General Mills Millennios followed by generous helpings of Uncle Ben's Converted Rice (The Official Food of the New Millennium) and Franco American Millennial Spaghetti-O's (with special commemorative "2" shaped pasta pieces) all washed down with a cold Official Beer of the Millennium, Budweiser or perhaps The Official Beer of Y2K, Coors", says VomBaur. Here's the complete Top 10 list: Top 10 Reasons the Last Week of 1999 Should Be Declared a National Holiday 1. Really, really long lines at the 7-Eleven due to last minute hoarding of Limited Edition Millennium Big Bites. 2. Will help prevent traffic jams caused by rubberneckers watching National Guardsmen shoot looters. 3. More time to exchange Christmas ties and socks for Kevlar vests and cans of SPAM. 4. Will help clear holiday backlog at Orkin to spray homes for Y2K Bugs. 5. Time to reflect on the last 2000 years of human accomplishment (and why the French insist that Jerry Lewis and Mickey Rourke are geniuses). 6. Two words: Millennium Twister! 7. Allows for much needed additional prep time to apply Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve makeup. 8. Time to write one last fan letter to Tom Arnold. 9. Plenty of time to select "the outfit" for Judgement Day 10. One last excuse to drink Champale!
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