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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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Bushestina.

BY JAKE KENNEDY

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 Texas is good.
 I love the place.
 You can barbecue. 
 You can golf. 
 I like dogs. 
 I feel safe. 

 Do you feel safe? 
 If so, that's good. 
 Some folks need dogs
 to protect their place. 
 I like golf. 
 Do you like barbecues? 

 I do. I love barbecued
 Texas beef—yes, it's safe! 
 Do you golf? 
 I do. Golf is pretty good. 
 I've played all over the place. 
 Do you have dogs? 

 Spotty and Barney are my dogs. 
 They like barbecues. 
 Once I won second place
 in a grill-off. Are dogs safe? 
 I think so. Dogs are good. 
 Almost as good as golf. 

 I said almost! Golf
 is better than dogs
 because while dogs are good
 golf is a bit better. I barbecue 
 pretty often. I have a big wall safe.
 It's in the same place

 that Reagan used when this place
 was his. Reagan loved golf. 
 The combo to my wall safe
 is ... top secret! I love my dogs.
 I love this Weber barbecue. 
 Are women good? 

 I think so. A good woman helps you find your place. 
 I really like barbecues, traveling, and golf.
 Do you love dogs? I feel safe. 

 

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