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The One Where the Cake Ignites.
BY JON STONE
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Phoebe is in Central Perk with Ross. Ross is writing a poem to Rachel, unlikely as this may seem. Phoebe listens to him recite it, then Chandler walks in on the last few lines: "And Joey is a noey like Hanukkah with Monica,
so you see, you're left with me." "Monica and Hanukkah?" says Chandler. "Gee, Ross, I thought you quit poetry." (Titles.) Joey, elsewhere, is cooking with Rachel. They're baking a birthday cake for Chandler. Joey's idea. They're counting on Phoebe
to keep him stalled. So, naturally, Phoebe tells Chandler to write a poem for Monica. "It's Phoebe's poetry workshop!" Chandler relents, but writes four lines for Ross: "Oh Ross / So cross / Becoss / Of Rachel." Monica arrives in the flat to find Joey
and Rachel cooking. She screams. Joey belts her—she falls unconscious. Phoebe senses violence, contacts Rachel psychically. "Something just happened to Monica!" Chandler's ode has riled Ross. He demands satisfaction from Chandler,
produces two pistols, whereupon Chandler makes like a tree, scarpers. Joey drags Monica into the cupboard. "Ross and Chandler'll kill you!" says Rachel. Phoebe goes after Chandler—the fate of Monica weighs on her heart. She wails as Rachel
wails. The cake is aflame! "God, Rachel!" Joey throws his arms up. "Chandler can't eat fire. You're as bad as Monica." Rachel scowls and pouts at Joey. Chandler's a stairwell away, with Phoebe in hot pursuit. Behind her, Ross.
Rachel and Joey fight with whisks. Chandler and Phoebe burst in. There's a face off. Ross arrives, firing both pistols. Monica explodes.
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