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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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Dear Thrasher: Adapted From a Letter to the Editor Printed in Thrasher Skateboarding Magazine, April 2003.

BY SONYA HUBER

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 Dear Thrasher, I love your skate
 mag. It rocks, even though you
 guys print too many shoe ads. 
 And what's up with the posers
 doing handrails? Don't they know
 real skaters do it in the street? 

 Well, you know even skating the street
 sucks 'cause cops won't let us skate
 anywhere. But kids here know
 some killer secret pools and ditches. You
 would shit to skate the Blood Bowl—eats posers
 for lunch. Put the Blood Bowl in your ads. 

 I got a serious beef, though—the ads
 with those skate-betty chicks standing in the street
 in thongs made me think you're all Cali posers! 
 It makes me want to give up and screw this skate
 bullshit. I mean, God, why don't you
 sell your souls for cash, you know? 

 I don't want to ride your asses—you know
 you rock my world even with the lame ads. 
 It's like, I need a lifeline here, you
 can't imagine Rankin, Georgia—mullets, no street
 courses, one shitty skate park. I skate
 with four cool punks, try to steer clear of posers. 

 We've got a big problem in Rankin with posers. 
 I'm 12 and not stupid. I know
 guys here think us girls can't skate—
 That's crap! It's your fault. Running those ads
 makes idiots here think it's street
 last, clothes and babes first. It's on you.

 Guys even rape girls in the park crapper. You
 see a porta-potty shaking with a poser
 and a screaming chick inside, guys on the street
 high-fiving, whatever, it's gross, and I know
 this shit happens all over. So be cool and drop the ads. 
 It's not about tits. Get on your board and skate. 

 They're everywhere, you know, 
 poser, thick-necked Fitch-bitches like in your ads. 
 I don't want 'em. I lost my cherry to the street. I'll die or skate. 

 

MORE SESTINAS

 

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