Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

- - - -

Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

- - - -

Six Kinds of Noodles.

BY STEPHEN BURT

- - - -

 You would have to have been reading John Ashbery
 to have seen anything like this in a book, 
 and yet here it is in real life: 
 an almost already intelligible tangle
 of verities, and an intimidating menu, 
 disfigured, almost, by all the things you can have

 at once, though all are noodles. Have
 you, too, been trying to keep up with John Ashbery? 
 Every time I check there's another new book, 
 another entry—entrée—on the menu
 from which I seem to have ordered my whole life, 
 and been served somebody else's. Don't tangle

 with waiters here is my advice; the rectangle
 of mirrorlike soy sauce, the soba you have to have
 and the udon you lack should suffice: the secret of life—
 as you might have sought, or discovered, in Ashbery—
 is what you get while you are waiting. Men, you
 see, are mortal, and live to end up in a book, 

 though once you compiled and published such a book, 
 who would be left to read it? The latest angle
 claims that it would be more like a menu, 
 an ashen, Borgesian checklist of all you could have
 or have had to pay for, or suffer, or notice. Ashbery
 could write that (I think it's in Flow Chart). And yet the life

 we long for in all its disorder is not a life
 of so many tastes, nor of fame; more like one good book, 
 and ginger with which to enjoy it. Jeffrey Skinner's poem entitled "John Ashbery"
 and David Kellogg's "Being John Ashbery" both take the angle
 that eminence is what matters. No. We have
 had enough of fighting over the menu, 

 as if it were the main course; the omen you
 seek, the bitter-lime tang of a happy life
 to come, curls up amid the semolina or buckwheat you have
 not chosen yet. Will it be prepared by the book? 
 Will it do for Kitchen Stadium? Its newfangle-
 ness may be a virtue, Iron Chef Chen Kenichi, Auden, and Ashbery

 all suggest, though hard to find here without help from Ashbery: 
 it's a problem with which I have tangled all my life, 
 and I'm so hungry I could eat a book, though none are listed on this menu. 

 

MORE SESTINAS

 

- - - -

MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES



Memories of Amanda Davis




Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:
MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS


SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE WINGS AT THE BALLET

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA

ABOUT THANKS AND HAVE FUN RUNNING THE COUNTRY

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL