Your Money,
Your Job ... Your Life,
With Alison Rosen.
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Nervous about your career and finances during this time of economic upheaval? Alison Rosen is here to help. Although she possesses neither an MBA from Wharton nor a Ph.D. in economics from MIT, she's really good at that carnival game where you have to roll the bowling ball just hard enough so that it'll go over the first hump but not the second. From time to time, Ms. Rosen will offer us her sage advice, as well as any quick-pick lottery numbers she has an especially good feeling about.
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C O L U M N 2
Ten
Easy Ways
to Jump-Start
Your Finances.
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1.
Sell your eyebrows. People might pay good money for those sculpted arches. How will you know unless you try? Pluck and see! Plus, sans brows, you'll be ready to ...
2.
Start a boy band. Folks need good tunes and good times in a recession. Do it! No fear.
3.
Don a chic ski mask and rob a bank. Live a little!
4.
Leave a tooth under your pillow. Most likely, the tooth fairy doesn't exist, but this is no time to be a Negative Nelly. Play the odds! What have you got to lose, besides a tooth?
5.
Surprise your mate with a steamy note. While your honey's in the shower, sneak into the bathroom and scrawl a note in the steam on the mirror. Something like "Can I borrow $5,000? XOXO." Or ...
6.
Leave a sweet but fiscally accurate note in an unexpected spot. People love surprises! Imagine how surprised your main squeeze will be when he gets to the bottom of a lasagna tin and finds a "saucy" note explaining that you've "borrowed" some cash and also the car!
7.
Do what you love. (Best if what you love is embezzling.)
8.
Invent a phony charity and use guilt to bring in donations. Oh, come on, quit being such a Goody Two-Shoes!
9.
Deal drugs. Make sure to undersell your competitors at first to build your client base.
10.
Pay your bills with fresh herbs. Are you sure a bouquet of marjoram wouldn't suffice to pay off your medical bills? Are you absolutely sure, though? How about thyme?
MORE SAGE ADVICE
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