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M c S W E E N E Y ' S   N E W S . This page will be updated occasionally, notifying readers of developments, special offers, etc. from McSweeney's. All offers are real, unless they are obviously not real. - - - - DECEMBER 19 Orderers of Christmas gifts of McSweeney's should beware that many, many orders have been sent in past our December 14 deadline, and thus we cannot guarantee their delivery before Christmas. But we will do our best. Diane Vadino is working extremely hard to ensure happy holidays for all on your gift list. You should see her apartment, from which all orders are sent. The place is a mess, it really is. Speaking of messes, we would like to invite readers to visit Slate.com, because your McSweeney's Representative last week did a Diary on that site, and the reaction to it -- see "The Fray" -- provides for much fun. Why? Well, see, in a sort of running theme of the diary, the diarist muses aloud about why there has not, to date, been someone courageous enough to produce an all-black remake of The Wizard of Oz. Yes. Well. It seems there are a number of people out there, reading Slate, who are aware that there already is an all-black Wizard of Oz. And some of them -- including one frequent (though, thus far unsuccessful) submittor to McSweeney's -- were not happy that the diarist was seemingly unaware of this. Go see and have yourself some fun. You deserve some fun, with how hard you work and all. - - - - DECEMBER 15 Good news: Our distribution-oriented issues from a few weeks ago have been resolved. Excluding the copies we need on hand for new subscribers, we have now distributed all remaining copies of Issue No. 3. More good news: We have thus far received six packages of Mother's Iced Oatmeal Cookies, all of which had to first be flown from California, as they are made in Oakland and not sold in these parts. We also received a medical textbook from Buffalo, New York, c. 1910. It is ravishing. Its sender will receive good things from us. A few more notes for submittors of things: - Issue No. 4 is booked, and is a week away from press. Thus, there will be a huge, huge delay in our response to recent submissions for the print version, as we will be taking a break, a break which you will understand because you are understanding. - No need, in any context -- and this includes magazines other than ours -- to use two spaces after sentences. That's a custom attached to the era of high school typing classes, and now irrelevant. - We now have at least 100 submissions, sent as attachments, that have been separated from their original emails, but do not have their authors' names on the actual text. Again, please put your names in the text of the attachment. You dipshits. - - - - DECEMBER 2 From now until January 12, free subscriptions will go to the following people: - Any sender of a pre-1900 illustrated medical textbook - Any sender of a pre-1918 Russian atlas - Any sender of two compact discs containing Broadway showtunes sung by someone whose first language is not English - Any sender of a pre-1961 military training yearbook (from any country) - Any sender of pre-1947 issues of Progressive Grocer (small format) - Any sender of three boxes of Mother's Iced Oatmeal Cookies (limited to first three senders. And only Mother's brand will do) All mailings must be done in a way that does not require a signature. If they cannot be left at the HQ doorstep, the packages must be small enough to be slipped through a regular mail slot. Deliveries will be accepted in person, provided notice is first provided via email. Thank you. - - - - Read McSweeney's News: November 1999 | October 1999 | September 1999 August 1999 | July 1999 | June 1999 May 1999 | April 1999 | March 1999

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA ABOUT DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S VACATION LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL