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M C S W E E N E Y ' S   N E W S

This page will be updated occasionally, notifying readers of developments, special offers, etc. from McSweeney's. All offers are real, unless they are obviously not real.

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JULY 27

For those looking for copies of the first issue of McSweeney's, there is a store in Manhattan, named Gotham, located at 47th and, we think, 6th Avenue, that has six copies. These are the last six copies that will ever appear in bookstores, ever, anywhere. These six copies are pristine.

Also, there are ten copies of the second issue at Community Bookstore, on 7th Aveneue, in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Each of these ten copies has, on its first page, an original drawing of an ear. These are the only copies of Issue No. 2 which will be issued with drawings of ears on their first pages. There is no extra charge for the ear-drawings.

That is all.

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JULY 18

McSweeney's is again looking for help. This time, for the first time, the work needed will be compensated, if meagerly. You see, after too long attempting to do it himself, the McSweeney's Representative (M.R.) finally has been forced to admit that he is completely incompetent in terms of fulfilling subscriptions, handling distribution, cashing checks, writing checks, keeping the books straight, etc etc. He has found too many checks in his kitchen pantry, too many unfulfilled orders under his bed.

So, he is looking for someone to do all this. It will entail the following: receiving and fulfilling all subscriptions and T-shirt orders; handling money begotten from said orders; billing and bugging bookstores and distributors; and generally seeing that this operation runs smoother than it currently does. This should not be difficult. As is, it is chaos.

For all this, which can be done by any normal person in an hour a day or less, you be compensated... decently.

Requirements:

  1. You should live in Brooklyn, or have a car. There will be some transportation of boxes.

  2. You should not be a student, or a transient, or on the run from bad people with dogs and rifles. We will need the same person to hold this position for at least a year. If you are not sure that you can do this job for a year or so, do not answer this ad. If you are hired, and then leave before a year or so, the M.R. will call his bad people friends and go with them and their dogs and rifles, and hunt you down.

  3. Otherwise, no real experience is required. It's a fairly simple job.

  4. Actually, one more thing: you'll need to have your own computer, and be at least passably proficient in MS Excel, as that is the program currently used for the McSwys database.

All right then. Interested parties should email mcsweeneys@earthlink.net.

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