M c S W E E N E Y ' S N E W S .
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developments, special offers, etc. from McSweeney's. All offers are
real, unless they are obviously not real.
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MARCH 31
Dear M.R.,
So what is really going on with this McSweeney's Family? I do applaud
their efforts to help your site, but I am getting a weird feeling that
their interests are not exactly pure. I mean, Gerry McSweeney seems
nice, but.... I don't know. I must admit I'm worried.
Concerned for Your Concern,
Steve Davis
Chicago
Well Concerned,
We are a wee bit concerned, too. The whole thing seemed like a pretty
great idea at first — not so much for the money, which will help us,
and
the web support from Brendan, which also makes things easier, but for
the sheer novelty of collaborating with the McSweeneys.com family,
which
we have known and admired from afar, for so long. And for a while
everything was splendid. The McSweeneys were charming and very astute.
They also liked the oddness of our collusion, and saw the value in
their
publishing our site, in the vanity project sort of vein. They promised
that they would sit back, help us with the machinery of the whole
thing,
and otherwise leave us alone.
But I must be honest, the whole thing is now a little shaky. We still
have the utmost respect for the McSweeneys, and still hope that this
can
all work out for the best, but I must say — and I say this knowing that
Gerry and Wendy are reading this — that some of their ideas, and their
opinions about the direction of the site(s), are not exactly in sync
with ours. As you know, this site, our site, was started with a certain
spirit of independence, and we have done what we could to avoid any
entanglements — with advertisers, for example — that would influence
our
editorial decisions.
But now we find ourselves in a position where many of the things we
have
done for a long time, and want to continue to do, are being challenged.
And though again, we respect the McSweeneys, especially Gerry, we would
like to make clear that we made this site what it is, and we must have
been doing something right, to have attracted the readers we have,
bright and devoted as they are. With all due respect, why anyone would
want to seriously tamper with that formula is beyond me.
But anyway. I am sure that in the next few days we will figure it all
out. Gerry is a good man, and we will surely reach a compromise. We
really do want to work with the McSweeneys, and think this could be a
lot of fun, but we also want to continue to bring you the McSweeney's
that you have come to know and respect.
Thanks for your patience.
The M.R.
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MARCH 21
Oh God that was fun. People, we have had events before, all of them fun
in some or other way, but nothing before has compared to the Galapagos
event of last Thursday. Good lord, this was an amazing thing. Planned
entirely without the aid of the M.R., it naturally went off without a
hitch. First of all, the venue, this place called Galapagos, is probably
the very best use of bricks and mortar yet created by man. And the
owner, a man named Christopher -- who by the way charged us nothing for
the use of the facility, and his staff... we, at McSweeney's, as a
whole, are in the planning stages of marrying all of them, as soon as we
can work out the logistics and legalities.
Some details for you all who could not attend:
1) There was a man in a caveman suit.
2) Arthur Bradford smashed a guitar, a real guitar, against the cement
wall, sending guitar-shards everywhere, including one which landed atop
his head, and which sat there for the next three/four minutes, while he
finished his reading. No one told him and he looked funny.
3) Neal Pollack, after all of the readings were done and most of the
attendees had moved on, returned to the microphone, and read to anyone
who would listen.
4) Behind those reading was a painting painted by Arthur Bradford's
mother, who is a professional art-making person. The painting was of a
man flying while wearing a cape, and it was a beautiful thing.
5) Haircuts were given, as promised, during intermission. Four
volunteers received excellent haircuts, though most wanted only trims,
for some reason. After these four, one non-volunteer, a friend of the
haircutter, was forced into receiving a haircut, and his hair was
blow-dried in a very pronounced way, in the manner preferred by salon
stylists everywhere, who love the effects created by hot wind blowing
from below the hairline, up. After the blowdryer's work was done, this
client looked spectactular. NOTE: The haircutter asked for no monetary
reward for his haircuts, and because he so enjoyed the experience and
even learned from it -- he is getting better all the time -- he will now
be offering haircuts to all Lifetime Subscribers, past or present.
Details will be forthcoming.
6) Matthew Klam, who has a short story collection arriving in May, read
aloud, and when he read, he was great, but he said many dirty things.
His story, which truth be told was part of a novel, involved a woman
named Martha. Later, after the readings, a woman named Martha introduced
herself to one of the organizers by saying, "Hi, I'm Martha. But not
that Martha." Would not that have been weird if it were the same
Martha? Indeed it would have been weird. Whoa yes.
7) The audience, which was estimated at about 600 from opening to close,
was extremely polite and understanding, considering that many could not
find a seat or place to stand in the room where the readings took place,
and instead had to mill and mingle in one of the bar's other rooms.
Those in the reading room were quiet and gracious and warm, and that was
hugely appreciated by the readers -- Mr. Pollack, Mr. Bradford, Mr.
Klam, and also Adrienne Miller (who was accompanied, via our clever
bullying tactics, by the masterful Colleen Werthmann), Sarah Vowell, and
John Hodgman, the evening's lovable and well-dressed emcee.
Now, because of the great success of the event and because we have
finally found the appropriate venue for such goings-on, we will soon be
inaugurating a more regular series of readings. Again, details will be
forthcoming.
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