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M c S W E E N E Y ' S N E W S . This page will be updated occasionally, notifying readers of developments, special offers, etc. from McSweeney's. All offers are real, unless they are obviously not real. - - - - SEPTEMBER 8 McSweeney's would like to first apologize for the delay in subscriber's copies getting to them. Between the lateness in the shipment getting to us, our usual dearth of mailing-out labor, and Labor Day itself, things have been moving slower than we had planned. Do be advised, however, that all copies have been mailed out. Lifetime subscribers will also be receiving their booty within the week, with a new Lifetime Subscriber Certificate thrown in. We appreciate everyone's patience. Some other notes for subscribers: - If your address has changed, and you did not tell us, be advised that the Post Office does not guarantee the forwarding of third class mail. Thus, there is a very good chance that the copy sent to your old address will not reach you at your new home. If you ask us to send another, please know that granting that wish will cost us about $5, out of pocket, for each copy we have to resend. We are not sure we can do this for you. We might, but we might not. - We continue to receive complaints about those of you who subscribe, and receive Issue No. 2 as their first installment. Friends, we have sent multiple warnings to potential subscribers indicating that absent a request pointing us elsewhere, all subscribers will receive the current issue. If you sent a check with no instructions, until this week, you would have first been sent No. 2. From now on, you will receive No. 3, unless you ask us to do otherwise. You may start with Issue No. 2, 3, or 4, but you must tell us which. Please help us to serve you by making clear your desires. - The copies of No. 2 -- containing portions of printer's proofs -- we promised to have delivered to St. Mark's Book Shop long ago were not in fact ever delivered. For this we apologize. We have had to do a good deal of apologizing lately, for instance to the reader who, frustrated with a delay in an order, ended her note with: "This, sirs, is no way to run a business." And this person is right. It is no way to run a business. Then again, this is not a business. This is a journal. There are no businesspeople here. There are no calculators or abacuses (abaci?) here, no spreadsheets, projections, advertising, hours maintained or employees employed. We only do one thing: publish things and send them to you. That is all we aspire to do and all we can do. Efficiency is nice, but will not be found here, not now nor ever. Anyway, as for the printer's proofs: They will be delivered Friday or Saturday of this week, along with ten copies of the new issue, each featuring drawings of clouds that look like Donald Sutherland. - We are currently out of T-shirts. Some Lifetime Subscribers will receive their packages without their T-shirts, and in general T-shirt orders will be fulfilled in two-three weeks, after we get a new order through the brothers on Staten Island who print them so expertly for us. Again, thank you for your understanding. - Finally, the M.R. would like to announce that because some time has recently been freed up hereabouts, the McSweeney's site, too long the print version's neglected brother, will in the next few weeks be vastly expanded. Look for about ten new regular features and links, including a new art review section, a regular NFL Picks link, and series of interviews with the daughters of Texas lawmen. Thank you for everything thus far. Your kindness will not be forgotten. The M.R. - - - - Read McSweeney's News:
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