ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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I’m Starting to Realize I’m Watching The Bear (1988) Not The Bear (2022)
“I thought there was supposed to be a kitchen? This must be backstory or allegory or something. Running a restaurant is like ‘surviving in the wilderness.’ Interesting choice, I totally see it.” -
Word Problems for Working Women of Color
“Company A has a budget of $300K to hire two consultants to do three days of work. Company B has a budget of $250K to hire one consultant to do four days of work. Calculate the total number of BIPOC women each company will ask to do the work for free.” -
Beyond “American Pie”: Interpreting Symbolism and Allegory in the Twentieth Century’s Greatest Pop Songs: “Brandy” by Looking Glass
“The ‘locket’ around Brandy’s neck ‘bears the name of the man that Brandy loved.’ That name is ‘Barry Manilow.’ The locket also bears proof of rabies vaccination and a license number provided by the City of Las Vegas.” -
Our IPA Will Jam Your Face with Hops
“While all your pals are crushing can after can of effervescent Mexican lager in a glorious reprieve of a triple-digit heat wave, you’ll be choking down the thickest, mealiest, and most vengeful IPA ever produced.” -
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
An Open Letter to the White Mommy Blogger Who Posted a Recipe for Turmeric Energy Balls
“Your ingredients came with epithets—‘golden’ raisins, ‘fresh’ ginger, ‘unsalted’ cashews. You made these items sound exotic and rare, but as someone who cooks with them almost daily, I know they sell in bulk at the local ethnic grocery store.”
Trending
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July 29, 2022Thank You for Calling the Perimenopause Hotline, Where Our Hold Times Are Completely Unpredictable
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August 2, 2022Memo Regarding New State Teacher Qualifications
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August 5, 2022An Open Letter to the White Mommy Blogger Who Posted a Recipe for Turmeric Energy Balls
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February 24, 2011What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You
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July 28, 2022I’m the Average Driver on the Road Right Now, and I’m Out of My Fucking Mind
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August 4, 2022For My Next Death-Defying Stunt, I Will Ride My Bike in This Bike Lane
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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July 29, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Ada Limón
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July 27, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Jana Prikryl
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July 25, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Linda Gregerson
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July 22, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Danielle Blau
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July 12, 2022Remembering Jay Hopler
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June 30, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: An IUD Called Aunty Fatima
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June 28, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: One Word: Abortion
Over in the Store
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“A brilliant and entirely necessary volume, featuring our best writers and thinkers from Tommy Orange to R.O. Kwon. Every bookshelf should have a volume.”
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“No one writes like Hopler. And no one ever will.”
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Together again! Four issues of McSweeney's Quarterly, four issues of The Believer magazine.
Recent Posts
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August 4, 2022For My Next Death-Defying Stunt, I Will Ride My Bike in This Bike Lane
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August 4, 2022The Time Traveler’s Wife Is Late… AGAIN
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August 3, 2022Hell’s Department of Suffering and Horror Is Now Accepting Applications for the Next National Nightmare
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August 3, 2022Financial Lessons from the Musical Rent
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August 2, 2022Protagonists of ’00s Songs: Where Are They Now?
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