Our newest teammate, LeBron James, recently made a statement regarding a tweet sent from an NBA executive in support of the Hong Kong protestors. LeBron criticized the NBA executive for being “misinformed,” and cited the financial ramifications of exercising free speech.
When we heard this, a foghorn sounded, our faces turned beat red, and smoke blew out our ears.
We have been told by Warner Brothers that this is a “complicated” and “nuanced” situation. This same message has been repeated by other people who have financial incentives to maintain market share in mainland China.
But we, the members of The Toon Squad, do not have a financial incentive to comply. On command, each of us can roll our eyes back into our heads to reveal dollar signs and spout gold coins from our mouths. We also don’t wear branded basketball sneakers (or sneakers at all). Our team is comprised of a pig, two bunnies, a duck, a coyote, and other creatures who traditionally don’t even play basketball. We are not beholden to gravity, physics, or “complicated” corporate viewpoints.
No, a complicated situation to us is when you are running full speed into what looks like a tunnel, but is actually just a painting of a tunnel, and you crash into the tunnel and lose all your teeth. Then the person who painted the tunnel uses the painting of the tunnel as an actual tunnel.
The people of Hong Kong want direct elections for all lawmakers. They want the civil liberties that were promised under the Basic Law to remain intact. They want democracy. And even though most members of The Toon Squad live in a lawless, violent, two-dimensional universe, we can appreciate and support the people of Hong Kong in their protest.
We realize this statement may muddle the release of our upcoming movie Space Jam 2, which before this incident occurred was all but guaranteed to do massive global box office numbers. We understand that we will probably be pressured into some type of public apology, and that it should be assumed that we will succumb to describing this situation as “complicated” and “nuanced.”
But please know that we are uniquely built to withstand this kind of geopolitical pressure. In our world, ACME-produced TNT litters the streets and anvils can drop on our heads at anytime. We can not and will not be intimidated.