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Articles by
Andrew Knott
Andrew is a writer living in Orlando. His book, Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years, is available now.
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April 20, 2021Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic” Revised for Exasperated Parents
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February 13, 2020I’m the Valentine’s Card Your Three-Year-Old Made
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June 27, 2019Motivational Quotes Revised for People With Reasonable Expectations
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February 25, 2019FAQ: School Book Fair
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January 26, 2018I Took a 24-Hour Social Media Break and Now I Am a Better Parent and the Ruler of the Earth and All Creatures That Inhabit It
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June 16, 2017I’m a Stay-at-Home Dad in a Television Show or Movie
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December 3, 2016Dad of Newborn Girl Explains the Importance of Women’s Issues to a Table of Women at a Coffee Shop
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June 17, 2016Rules for My Kids That I Enforce With the Relentlessness of a Starving Wolverine
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February 18, 2016Ted Cruz Presidential Campaign Promise or Fourth Grade Student Council Campaign Promise?
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November 29, 2023Your 2023 WebMD Wrapped
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December 4, 2023The National Lyrics or Things My Dad Says While Refusing to Check Google Maps?
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February 23, 2012Lines from The Princess Bride That Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
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December 7, 2023Scenes from a Hallmark Hanukkah Movie Written by Someone Who Has Definitely Met a Jew
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December 11, 2023We Are Wirecutter, and Last Winter We Sent Eighty-Six Reporters to Test Fifteen Hundred Artificial Christmas Trees. Twelve Haven’t Returned
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December 11, 2023Hungover Bear and Friends: Dream Big
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December 11, 2023Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up
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December 8, 2023Inflation Is High, So I’m Voting for Gork the Merciless