The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Andrew Knott
Andrew is a writer living in Orlando. His book, Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years, is available now.
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April 20, 2021Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic” Revised for Exasperated Parents
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February 13, 2020I’m the Valentine’s Card Your Three-Year-Old Made
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June 27, 2019Motivational Quotes Revised for People With Reasonable Expectations
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February 25, 2019FAQ: School Book Fair
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January 26, 2018I Took a 24-Hour Social Media Break and Now I Am a Better Parent and the Ruler of the Earth and All Creatures That Inhabit It
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June 16, 2017I’m a Stay-at-Home Dad in a Television Show or Movie
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December 3, 2016Dad of Newborn Girl Explains the Importance of Women’s Issues to a Table of Women at a Coffee Shop
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June 17, 2016Rules for My Kids That I Enforce With the Relentlessness of a Starving Wolverine
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February 18, 2016Ted Cruz Presidential Campaign Promise or Fourth Grade Student Council Campaign Promise?
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 3, 2025Elon Musk’s Directive on How to Change a Light Bulb in a Federal Building
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February 13, 2025Government Welfare Is Evil, Unless the Money Goes to the Wealthiest Man in the World
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 13, 2025Valentine’s Day Guide for the Huberman Lab Listener in Your Life
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February 13, 2025I Vow, from This Day Forward, to Watch Every Episode of Freaks and Geeks with You