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McSweeney’s
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Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
The Believer Magazine

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Articles by

Ilana Gordon

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Ilana Gordon is a writer and comic currently living in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter. Do not follow her in real life.

  • April 15, 2022
    Hello, It’s Me, Elijah. Who’s the Jerk Who Drank My Cup of Wine?
    by Ilana Gordon
  • March 26, 2021
    The Four Questions, Modified for Another Passover in Quarantine
    by Ilana Gordon
  • June 22, 2020
    I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
    by Ilana Gordon
  • May 8, 2020
    Your Mother Leads a Guided Meditation
    by Ilana Gordon
  • October 18, 2019
    Welcome to the Tenth Circle of Hell: The Dance Circle
    by Ilana Gordon
  • July 11, 2019
    Federal Sentencing Guidelines for Billionaires
    by Ilana Gordon
  • March 28, 2019
    Supervillains React to Betsy DeVos’s Proposal to Gut Funding For the Special Olympics
    by Ilana Gordon
  • March 14, 2019
    I Want a President I Can Drink a Beer With
    by Ilana Gordon
  • January 15, 2019
    It’s Time to Take Up Arms In the War Against Toxic Masculinity
    by Ilana Gordon
  • November 7, 2018
    Now That I’ve Finished Burning Down Your Village, It’s Time For Us to Come Together and Heal
    by Ilana Gordon
  • October 31, 2018
    Thank You For Participating In America’s Annual Voter Purge
    by Ilana Gordon
  • August 10, 2011
    Mary Poppins: A Job Review
    by Ilana Gordon
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