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Articles by
Ilana Gordon
Ilana Gordon is a writer and comic currently living in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter. Do not follow her in real life.
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
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May 8, 2020Your Mother Leads a Guided Meditation
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October 18, 2019Welcome to the Tenth Circle of Hell: The Dance Circle
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July 11, 2019Federal Sentencing Guidelines for Billionaires
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March 28, 2019Supervillains React to Betsy DeVos’s Proposal to Gut Funding For the Special Olympics
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March 14, 2019I Want a President I Can Drink a Beer With
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January 15, 2019It’s Time to Take Up Arms In the War Against Toxic Masculinity
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November 7, 2018Now That I’ve Finished Burning Down Your Village, It’s Time For Us to Come Together and Heal
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October 31, 2018Thank You For Participating In America’s Annual Voter Purge
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August 10, 2011Mary Poppins: A Job Review
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November 12, 2010An Open Letter to Pumpkin-Flavored Seasonal Treats
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 10, 2021An Update from Your Three-Year-Old’s Montessori Educator, Translated for Parents Who Endured a Traditional Public School Education
Recently
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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February 25, 2021Famous Philosophers in Quarantine
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February 25, 2021A Grizzled, Months-Old Chrome Tab Welcomes a Fresh-Faced New Tab to My Browser Window
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days