McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Jamie Allen
Jamie Allen is a writer based in Los Angeles and the creator of the Squirrel Census.
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May 28, 2021What to Expect at the Upcoming Big Gathering of People in Your Neighborhood
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March 12, 2019Caveman Rejection Letters
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January 17, 2017Letter from John Lewis’s Fifth Congressional District of Hell
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February 18, 2014The Wolf of Writing Street
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October 31, 2013Common Household Ghosts
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July 16, 2013We Are a Creative Agency Specializing in All Your Branding Needs
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September 17, 2012Top Behavior Problems in Dogs
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September 24, 2010Animal House
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May 6, 2010Exercise Fad: Kid Crossfit
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October 21, 2009Five Other Activities During Which Texting Can Be Dangerous
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June 19, 2009Conversations I Imagine My 10-Year-Old and 7-Year-Old Have About Me When They See Each Other in the Hallway at School
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June 6, 2008My Campaign Speech to My Parents
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers