Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Articles by
Lucas Gardner
Lucas Gardner is a comedy writer in Queens, NY. He recently worked as a writer on the forthcoming TBS series “Miracle Workers.” He is the author of the comic novels Quietly, From Afar… (2015) and Contemptible Blue (2017). More of his work can be found at www.LucasGardnersThings.com.
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October 15, 2018Please Purchase My Personal Data From Me Directly
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November 4, 2015I Can’t Believe I’m Going to Die On This Kid Rock Cruise
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October 1, 2015As Your Mayor, I Promise I’m Going to Find a Way Out of This Well
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May 21, 2015Print Lovers Magazine is Going Digital!
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April 6, 2015Our Men’s Rights Activism Group Refuses to Share This Meeting Space
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January 26, 2015Please Greenlight My Television Show About Several Young White People Trying to Make it In the Big City
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November 24, 2014Now That It’s Almost December, It’s Time to Turn This Secret Sex Club Back Into a Christmas Tree Store
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September 10, 2014Please Steal My Vespa
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May 5, 2014Did You Download 250 GBs of Music by the Crash Test Dummies?
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 14, 2020How to Buckle Your Baby Into a Car Seat in 36 Easy Steps
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November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546
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February 22, 2019Things That Outnumber Women Who’ve Been Nominated for an Oscar for Best Director