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Articles by
Lucas Gardner
Lucas Gardner is a comedy writer in Queens, NY. He recently worked as a writer on the forthcoming TBS series “Miracle Workers.” He is the author of the comic novels Quietly, From Afar… (2015) and Contemptible Blue (2017). More of his work can be found at www.LucasGardnersThings.com.
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May 8, 2020Good News! Wait, Never Mind
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February 4, 202016 Tricks to Stretch Out an Essay
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October 15, 2018Please Purchase My Personal Data From Me Directly
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November 4, 2015I Can’t Believe I’m Going to Die On This Kid Rock Cruise
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October 1, 2015As Your Mayor, I Promise I’m Going to Find a Way Out of This Well
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May 21, 2015Print Lovers Magazine is Going Digital!
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April 6, 2015Our Men’s Rights Activism Group Refuses to Share This Meeting Space
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January 26, 2015Please Greenlight My Television Show About Several Young White People Trying to Make it In the Big City
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November 24, 2014Now That It’s Almost December, It’s Time to Turn This Secret Sex Club Back Into a Christmas Tree Store
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September 10, 2014Please Steal My Vespa
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May 5, 2014Did You Download 250 GBs of Music by the Crash Test Dummies?
Trending 🔥
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May 21, 2020A Note From Your University About Its Plans for Next Semester
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May 15, 2020A University President Responds to Those Who Have Suggested the School Should Dip Into the Endowment
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May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
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May 18, 2020I Was In Charge of the Deck Chairs On the Titanic, and They Absolutely Did Need Rearranging
Recently
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May 29, 2020We Need To Protect the True Victims of Civil Unrest: Big Box Chain Stores
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May 29, 2020Standing Agenda: Family Video Chats, May 2020 to Infinity
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May 29, 2020
Haikus About Working with Positive Patients Under Public Health Guidelines that Change on a Daily Basis -
May 29, 2020I’m the String Lights in Your Room, and No, You Don’t Have Your Life Together