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Articles by
Lucas Gardner
Lucas Gardner is a comedy writer in Queens, NY. He recently worked as a writer on the forthcoming TBS series “Miracle Workers.” He is the author of the comic novels Quietly, From Afar… (2015) and Contemptible Blue (2017). More of his work can be found at www.LucasGardnersThings.com.
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September 16, 2020How the Pandemic Has Affected the Production of My College Sex-Comedy, Sex University
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May 8, 2020Good News! Wait, Never Mind
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February 4, 202016 Tricks to Stretch Out an Essay
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October 15, 2018Please Purchase My Personal Data From Me Directly
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November 4, 2015I Can’t Believe I’m Going to Die On This Kid Rock Cruise
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October 1, 2015As Your Mayor, I Promise I’m Going to Find a Way Out of This Well
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May 21, 2015Print Lovers Magazine is Going Digital!
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April 6, 2015Our Men’s Rights Activism Group Refuses to Share This Meeting Space
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January 26, 2015Please Greenlight My Television Show About Several Young White People Trying to Make it In the Big City
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November 24, 2014Now That It’s Almost December, It’s Time to Turn This Secret Sex Club Back Into a Christmas Tree Store
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September 10, 2014Please Steal My Vespa
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May 5, 2014Did You Download 250 GBs of Music by the Crash Test Dummies?
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November 24, 2020
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1- 1,004 -
November 30, 2020We Are Unable to Offer You a Place at Yale Because Your Essay Read Like the Closing Narration of a Teen Rom-Com
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December 3, 2020The Best Books to Gift This 2020 Holiday Season
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December 8, 2020Fat Lady Attempts to Get Health Care: An Oral History
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December 10, 2020You Know a Movie Is Classic When a Character Is Carrying Three or Four Coffees
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December 10, 2020DiGiorno’s Croissant Crust Pizza
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December 9, 2020The 100% True History of Santa and Jesus, Probably
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December 9, 2020Election Results If Electoral Votes Were Apportioned by Forms of Gerrymandering Other Than Congressional Districts