Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Articles by
Lucas Gardner
Lucas Gardner is a comedy writer in Queens, NY. He recently worked as a writer on the forthcoming TBS series “Miracle Workers.” He is the author of the comic novels Quietly, From Afar… (2015) and Contemptible Blue (2017). More of his work can be found at www.LucasGardnersThings.com.
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October 15, 2018Please Purchase My Personal Data From Me Directly
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November 4, 2015I Can’t Believe I’m Going to Die On This Kid Rock Cruise
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October 1, 2015As Your Mayor, I Promise I’m Going to Find a Way Out of This Well
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May 21, 2015Print Lovers Magazine is Going Digital!
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April 6, 2015Our Men’s Rights Activism Group Refuses to Share This Meeting Space
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January 26, 2015Please Greenlight My Television Show About Several Young White People Trying to Make it In the Big City
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November 24, 2014Now That It’s Almost December, It’s Time to Turn This Secret Sex Club Back Into a Christmas Tree Store
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September 10, 2014Please Steal My Vespa
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May 5, 2014Did You Download 250 GBs of Music by the Crash Test Dummies?
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July 5, 2019The Battle At John F. Kennedy International Airport, 1776
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May 20, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman Is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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July 15, 2019A Preschooler’s Guide to Managing Your Personal Assistant
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July 2, 2019Before You Call Out Our Hypocrisy, Let Us Remind You That We Don’t Care
Recently
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July 19, 2019List: Hemingway’s “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn” Re-Imagined By Other Authors
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July 19, 2019Ernest Hemingway, Parenting Blogger
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July 18, 2019I Am Against Identity Politics, By Which I Mean I Am In Favor of White Identity Politics
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July 18, 2019List: Things You’re More Likely to Get Arrested for Than Rape