• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
The Believer has returned

Subscribe today to climb aboard this unstoppable train of a literary journal.

Articles by

Lucas Gardner

Email Twitter

Lucas Gardner is a comedy writer in Queens, NY. He recently worked as a writer on the forthcoming TBS series “Miracle Workers.” He is the author of the comic novels Quietly, From Afar… (2015) and Contemptible Blue (2017). More of his work can be found at www.LucasGardnersThings.com.

  • July 7, 2021
    People Who Accomplished Incredible Things at a Young Age, Taken Down a Peg
    by Lucas Gardner
  • September 16, 2020
    How the Pandemic Has Affected the Production of My College Sex-Comedy, Sex University
    by Lucas Gardner
  • May 8, 2020
    Good News! Wait, Never Mind
    by Lucas Gardner
  • February 4, 2020
    16 Tricks to Stretch Out an Essay
    by Lucas Gardner
  • October 15, 2018
    Please Purchase My Personal Data From Me Directly
    by Lucas Gardner
  • November 4, 2015
    I Can’t Believe I’m Going to Die On This Kid Rock Cruise
    by Lucas Gardner
  • October 1, 2015
    As Your Mayor, I Promise I’m Going to Find a Way Out of This Well
    by Lucas Gardner
  • May 21, 2015
    Print Lovers Magazine is Going Digital!
    by Lucas Gardner
  • April 6, 2015
    Our Men’s Rights Activism Group Refuses to Share This Meeting Space
    by Lucas Gardner
  • January 26, 2015
    Please Greenlight My Television Show About Several Young White People Trying to Make it In the Big City
    by Lucas Gardner
  • November 24, 2014
    Now That It’s Almost December, It’s Time to Turn This Secret Sex Club Back Into a Christmas Tree Store
    by Lucas Gardner
  • September 10, 2014
    Please Steal My Vespa
    by Lucas Gardner
1 2 ⇨
Trending 🔥
  1. May 25, 2023
    A Day in the Life of a Woke Third-Grade Teacher, as Imagined by a Far-Right Politician
    by Ashley Ingle
  2. May 18, 2023
    HBO’s Sensitivity Reading for Entourage
    by Max Davison
  3. March 19, 2018
    I’m Going to Close This Deal Using Business Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
    by Wendi Aarons
  4. May 25, 2023
    I’m Your Mom Playing a Video Game, and I Will Turn This Avatar Right Around If You Don’t Watch Your Tone of Voice
    by Audrey Burges
Recently
  • June 2, 2023
    How to Find Your Size in Blue Jeans
    by Tori Multon
  • June 2, 2023
    Our Seventh-Grade Band Concert Tickets Are Now for Sale on Live Nation
    by Jonathan Weisberg
  • June 1, 2023
    You Think I’ll Buy That Just Because It’s Pride-Themed? Because You’re Right
    by Jus Kaplan
  • June 1, 2023
    An Open Letter to My Breasts on Their Working Conditions and Recent Complaints of “Burnout”
    by Alice M. Phillips
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

We are committed to our environment. Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2023, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.
All Rights Reserved.
Search Magnifying Glass
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
 

THE EYES & THE IMPOSSIBLE IS OUT NOW

Dave Eggers’ The Eyes and the Impossible is out now in a deluxe wood-bound hardcover. Now in its third week as a New York Times Bestseller.

×