McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Whitney Pastorek
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March 11, 2003An Interview With David Kirk, Tuba Player and Musicians’ Spokesman, About the Houston Symphany Going On Strike, Conducted February 20, 2003
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March 10, 2003An Interview With Christine Pastorek, Violinist and Personnel Manager, About the Houston Symphany Going On Strike, Conducted February 20, 2003
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January 21, 2003Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture.”
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February 15, 2002A Modern Instrument, An Interview With Robert Pastorek, About His New Bass And The Houston Symphony’s New Season
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August 31, 2001Odd Occurrences: An Interview With Robert Pastorek, A Professional Symphony Musician, Part Two
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August 30, 2001Odd Occurrences: An Interview With Robert Pastorek, A Professional Symphony Musician, Part One.
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August 10, 2000Take the Pepsi Challenge
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March 15, 2000The Red Wing Shoe Factory: Nine Points of Interest
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October 10, 2018My Common App Essay: “Every School Reading This Except Dartmouth Sucks Ass”
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 8, 2018Matreon: The Patreon Platform for Emotional Labor
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October 12, 2018List: Appropriate Moments to Respond With Lady Gaga’s Guttural Howl From the Song “Shallow”
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October 19, 2018Stoning Our Neighbors to Death Makes the Corn Grow High, and Elitist Liberals Should Stop Attacking This Traditional Value
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October 19, 2018Animals Got Problems: Everyone Is Exhausting
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October 19, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Levelers and Sharpeners
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October 19, 2018Letter of Recommendation for a Basic Male MFA Applicant