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All posts tagged
thomas-jefferson
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February 19, 2018Thomas Jefferson Asks for an Extension
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December 2, 2016If I Had to Make Out With the Founding Fathers Because Gary Sinise Was Threatening Me With a Gun, This is the Order I’d Go In
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January 26, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “People say President Jefferson had nineteen different mistresses. Dude, Jefferson had Chlamydia—no doubt.”
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July 5, 2011Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: How Do I Make a President?
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March 4, 2011Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: When Did Things Get So Mean?
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July 27, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: Can the President Take the Week Off?
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May 19, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: How Close Can I Get?
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May 7, 2010An Open Letter to the Gentleman Who Gave Us a Tour of Monticello
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January 6, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: What Did the Founding Fathers Smell Like?
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October 22, 2009Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: Was Thomas Jefferson a Jerk?
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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December 21, 2020Things I Didn’t Have on My 2020 Bingo Card Bingo
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January 15, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-1,053
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January 19, 2021If We Raise the Minimum Wage, What Will Happen to My Gruel Business?
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January 19, 2021As a White Man, I Say Separate the Art from the Artist
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January 19, 2021It’s My Last Day in Office and I’m Pardoning Everyone
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January 18, 2021Fake MLK Quotes Your Stepdad Gary Posted to Prove He’s Definitely Not a Racist