A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Testimonial

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“It was May, 1999 or so, give or take a year, and I had hit the road, tired of working for the ‘man.’ I was thumbing rides, and hopping boxcars or ‘shuffling squaretops’ (hobo slang). I was a loner, didn’t want or need another’s company. I was tired, strung out. I’d been working 80-hour weeks writing copy for a hot new product called ‘the Internet.’ One night I was holed up in a tree outside of Phoenix and from my perch I could see a young punk fussing with a rusty bicycle outside of the public library. I yelled down, ‘Hey, man! Don’t ya got no sense?’ and he scattered like he’d heard a ghost. I got to thinking bout that library down there and fell asleep dreaming of the possibilities. In the morning I crawled over to the entrance like a baby on a trail of crumbs. A kind lady let me in early and I got the first seat in front of their brand new computer. I logged onto the devil himself, wondering if I’d regret it, but then to my surprise I found me a little site called ‘McSweeney’s.’ It was a gateway, man. Finally the devil had redeemed himself. It was as if Saint Peter had popped his head out and said, ‘Hey, ‘bo, life can be a breeze if you let it, ya know?’ I made an about face, and now I run a chain of carpet shops in the Midwest. All thanks to McSweeney’s. So please support their Kickstarter.”
— Ted Travelstead, actor, writer, longtime Tendency contributor, and 41st ranked carpet salesperson in the Midwest

Visit our Kickstarter page to pledge your support.

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Best Joke Ever

BY

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Chicago humorist Mark Peters is obsessed with reading, writing, hearing, telling—and now, writing about—jokes. In each column, he looks at a perfect joke by a master of the form. Mark is also a Twitter comic (@wordlust), a euphemism columnist for Visual Thesaurus, and a dabbler in stand-up comedy. He recently wrote and produced a sketch comedy show called “Nachos… From the Abyss.”

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The Best Joke of An Always Sunny (and Underrated) Sitcom (4/14/2015)

Punks vs. God Hates Astronauts: The Funniest Current Comic Book Heavyweight Championship (1/8/2015)

Joan Rivers: Nuclear-Powered Insult Queen (10/3/2014)

Louis C.K. Exposes My Stupid Brain (9/12/2014)

Mitch Hedberg: Hippie Martian Zen Genius (8/28/2014)

Dan Guterman: The Best Joke Writer in the World? (8/6/2014)

Mike Sacks: A Two-Way Comedy Gold Mine (7/10/2014)

Comedy Villain Anthony Jeselnik: The Love Child of Jack Handey and Ravishing Rick Rude (5/22/2014)

Key & Peele and the Mother of All Mother Jokes (4/25/2014)

The Superior Humor of Marvel’s Inferior Villains (4/4/2014)

Ted Travelstead: Twitter’s Weirdo Genius (3/18/2014)

Sarah Silverman and the Art of the Non-Dirty Joke (2/24/2014)

Burgundy-ology: The Best Anchorman Joke (1/29/2014)

Golden Boy, Seinfeld, and the Meandering Male Mind (12/20/2013)

Heaven, Jews, Dogs, and Rob Delaney (11/26/2013)

A Duck, a Professor, and the Greatest Cartoonist Ever (11/5/2013)

A Syrian Spin on a Sandwich-centric Joke Formula: Jess Dweck’s Best Joke (10/11/2013)

Seeking Gold, Slaves, and Peace: The Best Jack Handey Joke (9/20/2013)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.