MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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April 11, 2024The Flu My Four-Year-Old Brought Home for Spring Break Addresses My Hope of Not Catching It
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April 10, 2024I Am Your Thirty-Fourth Browser Tab, Begging You to Reopen Me
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April 8, 2024I Am Batman, and I Will Restore Order to Gotham by Pulverizing a Man Robbing a Convenience Store to Feed His Starving Family
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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March 29, 2024Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
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March 25, 2024The CamelBak Languishing in the Back of Your Cabinet Would Like a Word
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March 20, 2024I Am the New York Times’ Paywall, and If I Let Any Non-Subscribers in, They’ll Kill My Family
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March 8, 2024I Will Do Anything to Make This Movie Studio Profitable, Except Release a Good Movie
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March 5, 2024J. Robert Oppenheimer Is Gonna Party His Ass Off at the Oscars
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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February 7, 2024I Am a Boomer’s iPhone and I Will Not Be Silenced
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January 29, 2024I’m a YouTube Child Star, and I’m Probably Going to End Up President or Something
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April 30, 2024Getting Dinner with Friends Who Don’t Know Each Other: Into the Friendship Multiverse