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On the Eighth Day, God Was Asked to Come Back to the Office Because Red Flags Were Raised with Certain Elements of His Work
“On the eighth day, a Monday, God was asked to come back to the office because red flags were raised with certain elements of His work from days one through six, and so He needed to present the work for evaluation and feedback from the larger cross-functional team.” -
Starcourt Mall is Closing
“Due to the economic fallout from COVID, the ever-increasing popularity of online shopping, and the lingering devastation from the attack by a giant spider-like creature in 1985, the Starcourt Mall of Hawkins, Indiana is shutting its doors.” -
Yes, You Caught Me. I’m Trans Because It’s the Trendy New Thing to Legislate Against
“It’s true. My refusal to subscribe to the idea of a gender binary has nothing to do with crippling dysphoria that causes me extreme emotional pain and discomfort. I just wanted to be cool, and what’s cooler than having your basic freedoms stripped away?” -
We Would Love to Consider You For This Job We Have Already Filled
“You may have read on our website that we prioritize diversity in our hiring practices, and that is 100% something that we would like you to believe.” -
Oh, You Think You’re a Real Star Wars Fan? Name Three of Its Stars You’ve Bullied Off Social Media
“Being a Star Wars fan isn’t about loving the movies, or appreciating the hard work and artistry that goes into making them. It’s about taking every single change to a movie franchise you liked as a child as a vicious personal attack.”
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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May 17, 2022The Great Lakes Gatsby
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May 19, 2022I Regret to Inform You That I Can Get Pregnant with My Legs Closed
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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May 26, 2022We Bled All Winter—Part I
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May 24, 2022Scarlet Letter
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May 23, 2022An Interview with Shelly Oria
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May 19, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Guilt Lessons and Other Poems
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May 17, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Buqjah
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May 16, 2022The Believer Is Coming Home
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May 11, 2022Share Your Experiences about the Rapid City, South Dakota, Book Ban
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In their own unique and unforgettable way, each storyteller examines our crisis of access to care in ways that are at turns haunting, heartbreaking, and outright funny. -
“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
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Our first-ever McSweeney’s Internet Tendency e-book exclusive: Welcome to Woodmont College, out today from the minds of Mike Sacks and Jason Roeder. -
The hardcover edition of The Every is available in a dizzying and entirely randomized array of cover variations, exclusively through independent bookstores and here at McSweeney's.
Recent Posts
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May 25, 2022How to Protect Kids According to Republicans: A Decision Tree
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May 25, 2022How to Talk to Your First Grader about School Shootings
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May 25, 2022Places to Avoid While We Continue to Wait for Lawmakers to Enact Meaningful Gun Control Legislation
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May 24, 2022A User Manual for Your New Home Alarm System, D.O.G.
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May 24, 2022An Open Letter to Women’s Magazines Who Promote Body Positivity with Totally Not Photoshopped Images of Naked Celebrities
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