Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
Our Latest Post
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Obituaries for the Recently Canceled
"Margaret Arnold has been canceled at the age of 22 for a leaked 2017 email in which she expressed regret that 'La La Land' did not win the Academy Award for Best Picture." -
Lists
Awful HGTV House Hunters or One of the 2.6 Million People Living in Refugee Camps?
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On Obtaining Free Food at a Nonprofit Company
"Any free food will be announced via a company-wide email and the blowing of the Great Horn. Employees that fail to check their inbox in time or do not hear the Great Horn forfeit their right to any free food." -
Every Test Result On Your Medical Report Indicates Cancer So I Feel Confident In Summarizing Your Diagnosis as “No Cancer”
"You probably want to read the full medical report yourself but no need. The blood results? Radiologist’s notes? Don’t bore yourself. Those guys go on for pages with their minutia. I’ll tell you what it says -- total exoneration from cancer!" -
Screw You, Losers! Our Narcissistic, Corrupt, Racist, Anti-Science, Transphobic, Sexist, Classist, Nationalistic, Serial-Lying Adulterer President Didn’t Collude With Russia to Help Win an Already Gerrymandered Election!
Trending
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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March 18, 2019March Sadness
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March 19, 2019List: Impossible reCAPTCHAs
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April 15, 2016List: Titles of Bach Chorales, as Translated By My Niece After One Semester of German
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March 12, 2019Did I Mention That I Am Not On Social Media?
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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March 26, 2019
Submission Call for McSweeney’s Quarterly: THE AMERICAN PIE -
March 22, 2019
Phoenix, a New Mini-Book by Dave Eggers About His Visit to an Arizona Trump Rally, at Which Dozens of Citizens Freely Carried AR-15s, Hundreds (Including the Author) Were Teargassed, and Miraculously No One Was Killed or Wounded -
February 8, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Leland De La Durantaye About His Novel, Hannah Versus the Tree -
February 7, 2019
McSweeney’s Wins the 2019 National Magazine Award for Fiction -
February 1, 2019
An Interview With Dave Eggers About His New Novel, The Parade -
December 5, 2018
Oulipian Excerpts from All That is Evident is Suspect: Hervé Le Tellier, from Liquid Tales -
December 4, 2018
Puffer Problems
News & Announcements
Over in the Store
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Subscribe today and start with Issue 55. We’re ushering in 2019 the only way we know how: with a life-restoring collection of new writing, full-to-bursting with unforgettable voices. Issue... -
The second installment of our Manifesto Series is available for preorder. Orders will ship late January, 2019. Since the 2016 election, reading the news each day can send even the most placid... -
When Sophie Swankowski surfaces from the freezing waters, she finds herself in an ancient castle in Poland—and in the center of an ages-old battle. Even with her magical powers, the strength and... -
In our first-ever entirely nonfiction issue of McSweeney’s, The End of Trust features more than thirty writers and artists investigating surveillance in the digital age.
Recent Posts
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March 22, 2019To Make It As an Artist, I Recommend Having Unlimited Time and Money
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March 22, 2019List: What Guests Said At the Patriarchy’s Funeral
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March 22, 2019Excerpts From Gabriel García Márquez’s Love In the Time of Covfefe
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March 21, 2019List: A Short Description of Cultural Appropriation for Non-Believers, Part II
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March 21, 2019Job Hunt: The Board Game
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