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Quiz: Are You a Modern Conservative?
"Are you a liberal, a conservative, a Russian artificial intelligence created to sow discord in American society, or one of the thirteen hardened democrats working on Robert Mueller’s witch hunt Russia investigation?" -
Lists
Lesser Known Teachings of the Buddha
"Do not dwell on the past. Do not fret about the future. The present piranha situation should probably take priority." -
Welcome to Rent-A-Daughter, the App That Helps Your Husband Learn How to Respect Women
"To begin using our app, enter your location, your time frame, and your husband’s level of wokeness. We promise not to share any of this information, though it’s probably all online anyway." -
Planning Your Trip to Uncle Rick’s Water Slide and Cocaine Park
"Here’s what you should know when planning your visit to the PREMIER SPOT FOR INSANE WATER PARK ACTION AND COCAINE IN THE NORTHEAST!" -
Lists
Philosophically Legitimate Excuses for Plagiarizing Philosophy Papers
For a paper on the philosophy of mind: "I didn't plagiarize that paper. Everything in it was the product of my own extended mind, namely, my brain and excerpts from Wikipedia found on my iPhone."
Trending
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June 29, 2018List: 17 Real-Life Would-You-Rathers I, a Woman, Have Had to Ask Myself
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July 6, 2018I Was Going to Vote Democrat This November Until All This Incivility Forced Me Back On the Trump Train
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July 2, 2018“We’re Assholes”: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Announces the Trump Doctrine from the White House Briefing Room
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July 5, 2011List: What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
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June 29, 2018Let’s Not Blame Me, Adolf Hitler, for the Holocaust When We Should Be Blaming the Journalists Who Published My Words
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June 29, 2018The 30-Day Sex Challenge for Parents
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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July 12, 2018The Organist: An Interview With Peter Coyote
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July 11, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: The Wide World of Belonging
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July 9, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Celebrate the Ninth of July
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July 6, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: For the Girls
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July 4, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Trump’s Trojan Horse
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July 2, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: For My Granddaughters
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June 29, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Never Forget, Never Remember
News & Announcements
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Listen to this week’s episode of our arts & culture podcast, the Organist.
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Coming This Fall: “McSweeney’s Presents” — a new radio venture with WBUR Boston.
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Behold the heroes on our Patreon Donor Wall of Fame!
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Read an interview with Daniel Gumbiner, author of The Boatbuilder.
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ONE SMALL BLOW AGAINST ENCROACHING TOTALITARIANISM. Essays from cultural voices alongside things you can do to take action against the paralyzing apoplexy of the daily news.
Over in the Store
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Preorder the brand-new edition of Boots Riley’s Sorry to Bother You—originally published with McSweeney's 48—and you'll receive your copy in September. Now a major motion picture, Sorry to... -
Subscribe to the Quarterly now and get this tote for free! An ode to determination. A paean to pain. The 10-ounce black cotton Trying tote is suitable for lugging most things luggable, including... -
Buy this alongside a Quarterly subscription and use the code DOUBLEBUNDLE to get an additional $15 off. In anticipation of Quarterly 53's release later this summer, we're bundling together... -
Featuring art that accompanied Nyuol Lueth Tong's introduction to McSweeney’s Issue 52, this 18” x 24” poster is screenprinted on sturdy 100# “Whip Cream” French Paper, and signed and hand-numbered...
Recent Posts
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July 11, 2018Abortion is Immoral, Except When It Comes to My Mistresses
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July 10, 2018Dog People vs. Cat People vs. Alligator Snapping Turtle People
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July 10, 2018List: Theme Park Food Choices: Tips for Today’s Mom
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July 10, 2018Monologue: I Am a Woman Who Wants You to Hock That Sweet Loogie Over My Way, Big Boy
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July 9, 2018Seeking Technical Mechanics Project Facilitator for Flow-Management Optimalization, Back-End Concordance Manifestations, and Other Things Too
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