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As Your Doctor, I Am Protesting the Removal of Your Tumor Because I Don’t Want to Erase Your Medical History
"I view this tumor as an important symbol of your body’s history and heritage. Removing the tumor would be yet another example of misguided medical correctness in today’s liberal America." -
I’m a Moderate, Sane Republican Who is Very Concerned With Grand Chancellor Trump’s Demand to Be Bathed In the Blood of the Impure
"Today I, along with my Republican colleagues at the Imperial Figurehead Parliament say this in the strongest terms: America is not about extracting the blood of the Underlings in order to cleanse our country and attain eternal life for the Chosen." -
I Regret Decluttering My Home So Shortly Before the Zombie Apocalypse
"I feel out of place at the dumpster fires, eating another meal of boiled raccoon meat and expired ketchup packets, wearing the last coat I own: a Marc Jacobs parka from my capsule wardrobe." -
We’re Standing Up to President Trump with Half-Priced Flatbreads Until 5 PM
"The President may be doing everything in his power to strip funding for PBS and the NEA, but too bad, because these flatbreads are works of art." -
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Are You Trapped in a Bottomless Vortex of Chaos or Just a Recent College Grad Applying for Jobs?
"Although it might feel like you’re stuck in a realm where space and time have ceased to exist, that’s just another job application!"
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July 31, 2017Please Forgive Us at Blue Apron for This Week’s Meals. We’ve Been Having a Tough Time Lately
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August 3, 2017And God Created Millennial Earth
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August 9, 2017I’m a Google Manufacturing Robot and I Believe Humans Are Biologically Unfit to Have Jobs in Tech
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June 22, 2017List: 11 Ways That I, a White Man, Am Not Privileged
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July 31, 2017The West Wing: Recaps from the Final Season of Democracy: Recap of The West Wing, Season 18/Episode 21
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July 27, 2017List: 20 Literary Would-You-Rathers
News & Announcements
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Timothy McSweeney’s Romantic Issue 50 Release in Los Angeles
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SAN FRANCISCO! Join us as we celebrate the release of Issue 50 at Green Apple Books on the Park
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Behold the heroes on our Patreon Donor Wall of Fame!
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Listen to the latest from our friends at the Organist!
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Check out this playlist of Internet Tendency contributors’ podcasts via Radio Public
Recent Posts
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August 16, 2017I’m Sorry for Punching You With My Fist of Economic Anxiety
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August 16, 2017It Gives Me Great Pleasure to Introduce, for the First Time, @JenniferMarkTrueLove
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August 16, 2017Here at Fox News We Have No News to Report, So Enjoy These Images of Tropical Fish
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August 16, 2017List: 5 Reasons the Subway Masturbator is Your Soulmate
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August 15, 2017Some Content About Content
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Over in the Store
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Pre-orders will ship out late August.To celebrate our 50th issue, we’ve put together a guaranteed showstopper, with stories, essays, treatises, manifestos, letters, comics, and illustrated travel... -
Dorian Geisler’s beguiling debut collection of poetry solves the problems of audacitywith audacity. A darkly uncanny romp through the lives of others, Geisler’s fast-moving poetry and... -
A Spring 2017 B&N Discover Great New Writers Book. Helen Moran is awaiting a furniture delivery in her shared studio apartment when her uncle calls to break the news: Helen's adoptive brother is dead. -
The Abridged History of Rainfall is a finalist for the National Book Award. Jay Hopler's second collection, a mourning song for his father, is an elegy of uproar, a careening hymn to disaster and... -
McSweeney’s is on the road: The Road to 50—our very own midcentury mark is our next issue. We squeegeed the windows, topped off the tank, our bellies are full of Doritos and now we’re just waiting... -
In this debut picture book by Tim Lahan, a happy couple moves into a new apartment and is promptly visited by a steady stream of jolly uninvited well-wishers. -
"Dazzling, funny and deadly serious… A glorious new European voice has arrived." —The Guardian -
Get this book and three other best-sellers with the Best-Sellers Bundle. In the summer of 2009, Miranda July was struggling to finish writing the screenplay for her much-anticipated second...
