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It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
"Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!" -
Signs Your Mom Is Being Radicalized By Downton Abbey
"It will start small, an Art Deco costume necklace here, a decorative brooch there. Eventually, bills will start to turn up for vintage hats and other millinery. You must be prepared to intervene long before she advances to tiaras." -
Dear Leaders of the World: Get Your Shit Together
"The fact that there are children -- literal children! -- leading the way on solving the climate crisis is insane. Insane! You realize that, right? We have bigger things on our plate. Like pimples." -
Trump Shows Off His Own Circle of Hell
"I’m the first guy to get a whole circle, it’s terrific. They evicted the Kennedys to put it in. Nobody, and I mean nobody else got this much abyss. Moody Judy Iscariot lives in a studio apartment in Satan’s mouth. Sad! Welcome to Mar-a-Lava." -
Use This Acrostic to Help Determine Your Electability
"Ever make a racist, bigoted, and xenophobic claim that a president couldn’t have been born in the United States?"
Trending
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September 12, 2019List: 16 Surprising Ways to Injure Yourself When You’re Over 40
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September 10, 2019List: I Am “Why Do I Need Venmo?” Years Old
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September 6, 2019List: Honest Academic Job Postings
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January 2, 2019I Don’t Hate Women Candidates — I Just Hated Hillary and Coincidentally I’m Starting to Hate Elizabeth Warren
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September 27, 2017Our Open-Plan Office Failed, So We’re Moving to a Towering Panopticon
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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September 20, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: The Digital Blues -
September 17, 2019
McSweeney’s Will Now Publish Beloved Art and Storytelling Children’s Magazine Illustoria -
August 20, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: After the Birds -
July 9, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Skinned -
May 23, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: I Want a Friend -
May 8, 2019
Amanda Davis, Super Friend -
May 6, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Damn You, Ira Glass and Your Perfect Male Vocal Fry
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Recent Posts
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September 19, 2019Revised Political Usage and Application Directions For Kiwi Brand Shoe Polish
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September 19, 2019Instructions For Building My Rube Goldberg Machine
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September 19, 2019Reviews of New Food: Odwalla Apple & Greens Smoobucha
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September 18, 2019List: Successories for Her
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September 18, 2019Beaver of Fine Arts: Introducing Stella: Making Waves
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