SCHOLAR MATCH
BAY AREA: After a five-year hiatus, ScholarMatch’s signature event, Trivia Night, is back! Join ScholarMatch on October 9 at the Cartoon Art Museum for an evening of delicious tacos, tequila, and, of course, lots of pop trivia. Click for tickets and more info.
Our Latest Post
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A Letter You Can Give to Your Children in Twenty Years Explaining That You Don’t Have Photos or Videos of Them as Babies Because You Couldn’t Figure Out How to Handle Your Phone’s Storage
“I’m sorry. I really am. I have a job. And I raise you. And neither of those two things is as time-consuming or difficult as creating space on my iPhone.” -
FAQ’s About Our New Patient Portal, HellthChase
“In our continual efforts to provide you with the confusing level of treatment you’ve come to expect, we’d like to introduce you to HellthChase, our new cumbersome and contactless check-in solution.” -
The Problem with American College Campuses Is That I Desperately Miss Being Young
“Wokeness on campuses gets worse and worse each year, but unlike those who cower to the liberal mob, I’m not afraid to call out the root cause of my concern: I graduated from college forty-one years ago and miss being young so, so bad.” -
Of Course We’re Going to Keep Feeding the Grizzly Bear
“Oh, he’s getting increasingly violent? He keeps attacking strangers for no discernible reason? First of all, I don’t know about that. Second of all, that’s not our problem. What the bear does after we feed him has nothing to do with us. That’s his business.” -
Lists
Faculty Meeting Icebreakers
“Share the longest period of time you’ve ever wept. Then, as a group, seat yourselves in order from shortest cry to longest cry.”
Trending
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September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
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September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 5, 2024This is NOT a Tradwife’s Confession About the Joys of Back-to-School
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September 16, 2024Faculty Meeting Icebreakers
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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September 16, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Changed a Thing
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September 12, 2024An Interview with Ayana Mathis, Winner of the First-Ever Gabe Hudson Award
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September 12, 2024McSweeney’s Announces The Gabe Hudson New Literary Fiction Prize
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September 11, 2024Welcoming Remarks Made at a Literary Reading, 9/25/01
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September 9, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: BTS, Ronda Rousey, and the Timing of Apologies
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September 5, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Zoë Hitzig
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August 29, 2024Reviews of New Food: Costco Readywise Emergency Food Bucket
Over in the Store
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Hark. Behold The McSweeney’s Advent Calendar -
“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times -
“It's not just that I trust Sam Sax's imagination. My sincere belief is that Sam's creative freedom unlocks the potential for our liberation.”
—Saeed Jones -
“This novel is a folding chair to the back of the head.”
—David James Poissant, author of Lake Life and The Heaven of Animals
Recent Posts
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September 16, 2024I’m Sorry, Nyarlathotep, But Now Is Not the Time to Pursue a New Hobgoblin Consort Like Laura Loomer
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September 13, 2024A First-Year Teacher Learns to Use Adhesives from Her Mentor
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September 13, 2024Our Political Parties Have Totally Realigned
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September 12, 2024Voters Deserve an Explanation of Harris’s Flip-Flops, but Not One for Whatever Psychotic Thing Trump Is Saying
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September 12, 2024J. D. Vance Imagines a Day in the Life of a Pet-Eating Immigrant
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