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Correspondence with My Preschooler Regarding Our Updated Dinner Policy
“The Human Resources/Leadership committee has enacted a new one-bite rule. All household members with 4+ years experience are now required to take one bite of the prepared meal at the dinner table before additional food options are enabled.” -
Oh, Look at Mr. Fancy Pants Over Here Eating His Eggs
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mr. Big Shot eating an egg for breakfast. You do understand people are suffering, right? They can’t pay their rent. They can’t afford their medications. And yet here you are, eating an egg for breakfast.” -
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Wedding Dress Codes Certain to Impress and Befuddle Your Guests
Mocktail Attire
Whimsical Police Auction
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Our New AP African-American Studies Course Will Cover Black History from January 1996 to December 1996
“After receiving some pushback from conservatives, we thought to ourselves, ‘If a group of white, right-wing elites thinks we shouldn’t be teaching certain aspects of Black history, maybe it’s just because they have Black Americans’ best interests at heart.’” -
FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
“Pirate’s Booty is a cheese-flavored puffed corn and rice snack. It is one of the four main Realistic Food Groups, along with Cheese Sticks/Wheels, Applesauce Pouches, and Nuggets.”
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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January 27, 2023The Narrator of “Jessie’s Girl” Offers an Apology after Completing His Master’s in Women’s and Gender Studies
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January 23, 2023What Colleges’ Emails Read Like to High School Seniors
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January 25, 2023How to Become a Professional Writer
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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January 30, 2023Remembering Paul La Farge
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January 30, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Alex Dimitrov
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January 18, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: A. E. Stallings
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January 10, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Yona Harvey
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January 2, 2023McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Jason Roeder About Griefstrike!, His New McSweeney’s Humor Book About Grief
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December 20, 2022Announcing the Stephen Dixon Award for Short Fiction
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December 16, 2022A Note about the American Teacher Act
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Recent Posts
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February 3, 2023I’m the Kid from The Red Balloon, and That Thing Over Montana Is Not from China
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February 2, 2023Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How Great That Makes Them
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February 2, 2023Elden Ring or Tenure-Track Professor?
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February 1, 2023Marie Kondo Edits Her Bestseller, The Life-Changing Magic of
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February 1, 2023You vs. The New Hire Your Boss Tells You Not to Worry About
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