McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Our Latest Post
-
I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
“It’s a real Bombadil’s choice.” -
Lists
Is It Perimenopause or the Fascist Death Knell of Late-Stage Capitalism?
“Is my hair thinning, or am I ripping it out because a thirty-four-time convicted, sexually abusive steak salesman with a Hannibal Lecter fetish is five points ahead in Arizona?” -
I, Elon Musk, Will Pay Forty-Seven Dollars to Anyone Who Can Figure Out What’s Wrong with Me
“Any therapists out there? What’s the name of the syndrome that causes you to turn into the MyPillow guy?” -
I Wish I Went Before Mary Shelley in This Storytelling Contest
“My thing isn’t even that scary. Or about mankind. It’s just, well, did everyone else do this overnight? Because I feel like Mary Shelley may have pre-written her idea.” -
Brutally Honest Instructions for Visiting a Pumpkin Patch
“Put on your newly purchased cute fall outfit: a flannel shirt, light wash jeans, suede boots from Costco, and a wide-brimmed felt hat from Temu that feels like an itchy vice around your head.”
Trending
-
September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
September 30, 2024Faculty, Rejoice: Gmail Can Now Translate “Deanspeak”
-
August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
-
October 2, 2024JD Vance, a Very Normal Human Man, Sells Used Cars
-
October 9, 2024Leaked Transcript of the Secret Meeting Where Democrats Control the Weather
-
October 11, 2024Brutally Honest Instructions for Visiting a Pumpkin Patch
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
-
October 15, 2024270 Reasons: Because They Seem to Really Like Our Country
-
October 11, 2024270 Reasons: Because Kamala Harris Can Say the Word “Abortion”
-
October 9, 2024270 Reasons: Because the American Experiment Is on the Defensive
-
September 30, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Rick Barot
-
September 26, 2024Reviews of New Food: Kit Kat Ghost Toast
-
September 19, 2024“Man Is Weak, and When He Makes Strength His Profession, He Is Weaker”: A Conversation with Wrestling Promoter Sean Görman About the Influence of the WWE on Trump’s Every Move
-
September 16, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Changed a Thing
News & Announcements
Over in the Store
-
Hark. Behold The McSweeney’s Advent Calendar
-
“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
-
“It's not just that I trust Sam Sax's imagination. My sincere belief is that Sam's creative freedom unlocks the potential for our liberation.”
—Saeed Jones -
“This novel is a folding chair to the back of the head.”
—David James Poissant, author of Lake Life and The Heaven of Animals
Recent Posts
-
October 10, 2024Why Kamala Harris Must Secure the Endorsement of Sabnock, the Great Marquis of Hell
-
October 10, 2024The Topeka Witches Coven Answers Questions about the Upcoming Union Vote to Join the United Auto Workers
-
October 10, 2024I’m the “Scoopy Daddy”: Clarifying My New Approach to Parenting
-
October 9, 2024Leaked Transcript of the Secret Meeting Where Democrats Control the Weather
-
October 9, 2024My Friend Can Be a Bit Much, but He’s a Good Guy If You Give Him a Chance
Please engage with our brand on social media.
- Email Us
- 849 Valencia St.
SF, CA 94110
Right this way…