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Our Latest Post
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Signs Your Mom Is Being Radicalized By Downton Abbey
"It will start small, an Art Deco costume necklace here, a decorative brooch there. Eventually, bills will start to turn up for vintage hats and other millinery. You must be prepared to intervene long before she advances to tiaras." -
Dear Leaders of the World: Get Your Shit Together
"The fact that there are children -- literal children! -- leading the way on solving the climate crisis is insane. Insane! You realize that, right? We have bigger things on our plate. Like pimples." -
Trump Shows Off His Own Circle of Hell
"I’m the first guy to get a whole circle, it’s terrific. They evicted the Kennedys to put it in. Nobody, and I mean nobody else got this much abyss. Moody Judy Iscariot lives in a studio apartment in Satan’s mouth. Sad! Welcome to Mar-a-Lava." -
Use This Acrostic to Help Determine Your Electability
"Ever make a racist, bigoted, and xenophobic claim that a president couldn’t have been born in the United States?" -
Revised Political Usage and Application Directions For Kiwi Brand Shoe Polish
"We care about what our customers think of our polish collection, and have listened to your feedback regarding undirected usages for our products, particularly in regard to political environments and those aspiring to one day run for public office."
Trending
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September 6, 2019List: Honest Academic Job Postings
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September 12, 2019List: 16 Surprising Ways to Injure Yourself When You’re Over 40
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September 10, 2019List: I Am “Why Do I Need Venmo?” Years Old
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January 2, 2019I Don’t Hate Women Candidates — I Just Hated Hillary and Coincidentally I’m Starting to Hate Elizabeth Warren
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September 27, 2017Our Open-Plan Office Failed, So We’re Moving to a Towering Panopticon
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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September 20, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: The Digital Blues -
September 17, 2019
McSweeney’s Will Now Publish Beloved Art and Storytelling Children’s Magazine Illustoria -
August 20, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: After the Birds -
July 9, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Skinned -
May 23, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: I Want a Friend -
May 8, 2019
Amanda Davis, Super Friend -
May 6, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Damn You, Ira Glass and Your Perfect Male Vocal Fry
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Recent Posts
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September 19, 2019Instructions For Building My Rube Goldberg Machine
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September 19, 2019Reviews of New Food: Odwalla Apple & Greens Smoobucha
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September 18, 2019List: Successories for Her
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September 18, 2019Beaver of Fine Arts: Introducing Stella: Making Waves
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September 18, 2019List: The Five Best US Cities for Concrete Dick Slabs
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