Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
NEW BOOK ALERT
It’s finally here. Our 680-page, three-pound humor anthology, KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available to order.
Our Latest Post
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Translation of a New York Times’ Real Estate Article for Those Living Without a Trust Fund
“When Guy Partnerman and Lady Millionaire purchased a brownstone in the most Brooklyn-themed neighborhood of Brooklyn, there was only one drawback: the home was too beautiful.” -
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Christmas Presents For Adjunct Professors
“A lump of coal can provide minutes and minutes of valuable warmth in the unheated basement office that they share with a dozen other adjuncts, a family of raccoons, and several hundred square feet of asbestos.” -
Short Imagined MonologuesI’m the Duolingo Owl and I’m Tired of Your Bullshit“I guess you didn’t think I was watching the first day you ignored that notification and went on Instagram. I’m always watching. Do you know what happens when you make Language Bird angry? Well, hoot-hoot, asshole, because you’re about to find out.”
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Hello 12-Year-Old Reader, My Name Is Heathcliff and I Am Sorry That I Am About to Ruin Your Future Romantic Life
“Hang on a second; I just need to remove this torn white linen blouse and use it to wipe the sweat off my impeccably sculpted and fiendishly hairy torso.” -
Lists
The Only Possible Poems
“All poems are one of the following. There are no alternatives.”
Trending
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December 5, 2019Chili’s Menu, by Cormac McCarthy
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August 31, 2012My Grading Scale for the Fall Semester, Composed Entirely of Samuel Beckett Quotes
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September 4, 2018Sensible Hairstyles for Women Over 50
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November 29, 2017End of Semester Bingo
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December 6, 2019People Are Flushing Toilets 10 Times, 15 Times
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December 20, 2018Guidelines For Female Protagonists In Hallmark Christmas Movies
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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November 19, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: An Interview With Three Contributors to the New Book Unnecessarily Beautiful Spaces for Young Minds On Fire -
November 12, 2019
A Letter From Our Executive Director -
November 8, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: “We Should Have Closed Up Shop Back In ’09 After We Helped Cure Bird Flu”: The Editors’ Note From Keep Scrolling Till You Feel Something -
November 7, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Shouting Wenkie -
November 5, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: An Interview With the Authors of Our New Children’s Book, Chicken of the Sea -
October 29, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: But We Will Win -
October 25, 2019
McSweeney’s 21st Birthday
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For more than two decades McSweeney's has been producing both our genre-busting and National Magazine Award-winning Quarterly and the never-ending river of both timeless and timely satirical... -
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A band of intrepid chickens leave behind the boredom of farm life, joining the crew of the pirate ship Pitiless to seek fortune and glory on the high seas. Led by a grizzled captain into the...
Recent Posts
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December 12, 2019Translation of a Seemingly Pleasant Conversation Between My Two Aunts At Christmas
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December 12, 2019Beaver of Fine Arts: Cuffing Season
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December 11, 2019I Hope You Enjoy Your Airbnb Stay At My Home, a Place I Have Never Resided Nor Visited
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December 11, 2019How I Describe Progressive Issues I Support When Visiting My Republican Family for the Holidays
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December 11, 2019The Book of Job, As Told By Wile E. Coyote
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