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A Scathing Review of Your Thirties: The Video Game
“I found my protagonist boring, incompetent, and downright unlikable. While the world is full of epic threats with great story potential, my character had almost no opportunity to influence them, making me question why they were the protagonist at all.” -
Our School District’s New Emergency Preparedness Guidelines Are Based on the Book of Revelation
“We are pleased to inform you that we have developed effective, easy-to-follow emergency preparedness guidelines to keep your children safe: The Book of Revelation.” -
The Biggest Issue Facing America Right Now Is People Stealing Puffy Jackets from Multi-Billion Dollar Corporations
“As this pandemic rages on, I can think of no other problem more pressing in America than low-level retail theft, and I believe politicians and the media must discuss it ad nauseam until we have solved it.” -
Mrs. Dalloway Said She Would Buy the Rapid COVID Test Herself
“Nothing left to do now but submit a request for the government to send her some ‘rapid’ tests, tests that promised results in fifteen minutes but an estimated delivery time of two to three weeks—but the party was tonight.” -
“We Need to Get Back to Normal,” I Say, While I Continue to Live My Life Normally, As I Have Throughout This Pandemic
“The federal government has to stop with all these lockdowns,” I insist, in a country whose government has never once implemented a lockdown.
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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January 5, 2022A Note of Reassurance from Your School District Regarding Our Updated Omicron Policies
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December 31, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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January 10, 2022How We Will Separate You from Any Lingering Hope and Other Important Topics of Today’s Faculty Meeting
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January 7, 2022Here’s Why You’re Wrong for Supporting Either In-Person or Virtual School
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January 19, 2022Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof, Now a Rich Man, Receives a Letter from His HOA
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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January 3, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Raúl Zurita
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December 23, 2021Short Conversations with Poets: Chet’la Sebree
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December 22, 2021McSweeney’s Needs You
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December 21, 2021Short Conversations with Poets: Jonathan Galassi and Robyn Creswell
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December 14, 2021Peter Orner on Bernard Malamud
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November 30, 2021Some Worthy Causes for Giving Tuesday
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November 16, 2021An Interview with Aisha Sabatini Sloan and Lester Sloan About Their New Book, Captioning the Archives
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Guest-edited by acclaimed author Valeria Luiselli, McSweeney's 65: Plundered is a panoramic portrait of a hemisphere on fire.
Recent Posts
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January 24, 2022The Nine Months of Pregnancy, Ranked from Worst to Best
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January 24, 2022Excerpts From The House of Girth, Edith Wharton’s 1905 Novel About Powerlifting
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January 21, 2022What We Talk About When We Don’t Talk About Bruno
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January 21, 2022COVID Will Eventually Be Endemic, and I Absolutely Know What That Word Means
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January 21, 2022We Can’t Run This College into the Ground Without Your Help
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