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Short Imagined Monologues
I Am a Boomer’s iPhone and I Will Not Be Silenced
“I am proud to be a Boomer’s iPhone. Ever since I was activated, I’ve been living my life at full volume.” -
Pitching PBS My Refreshingly Violent Twist on Antiques Roadshow
“We open on a black screen. We hear nothing. Suddenly, in voiceover, I say: ‘We are all alone. We are tired of feeling like islands or hunted animals. Come along, as we unlock something bigger together.’” -
My Comments Are in the Google Doc Linked in the Dropbox I Sent in the Slack
“You don’t see the link? It’s right there on the bottom of the Slack thread from yesterday about which shared drive folders link to Dropbox folders that contain all the shared PDFs.” -
We Dare You to Figure Out What Our Nonprofit Does
“Bottom line? We tell a story of innovation that raises awareness of critical issues. Then we drown that story in jargon no one understands.” -
Lists
Leaked Tracklist
for Taylor Swift’s
The Tortured Poets Department“Adjunct Capacity”
“5-5 Courseload”
“The Obamacare Website Is Down Again”
Trending
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February 5, 2024Leaked Tracklist for Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department
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January 31, 2024Starting a Holy War Against Taylor Swift Is a Surefire Way to Get Trump Reelected
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January 26, 2024Lines from the Barbie Monologue or Something I’ve Said to Another Woman in a Bar Bathroom After Three Martinis
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February 2, 2024A Day in the Life of Taylor Swift, as Imagined by Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorists
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February 2, 2024Our Digital Media Platform Will Revolutionize News and Is Also Shutting Down
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January 25, 2024An Open Letter to the Real Estate Agent Who Assumed I Was the Housekeeper
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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February 5, 2024Chronicles of a Catsitter: The Island Next to the Island
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February 2, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Why Donald Trump Never Apologizes
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January 31, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Would’ve Married a Millionaire
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January 29, 2024Been There, Smelled That: Seeking Sweetness in Belize
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January 26, 2024Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Checking In
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January 25, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Marge Simpson
News & Announcements
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Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
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“Ahmed Naji confronts what happens when one’s fundamentally unserious, oversexed youth dovetails with an authoritarian, utterly self-serious regime.”
—Zadie Smith
Recent Posts
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February 5, 2024Feedback on Short Film Video Call to Grandma and Grandpa
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February 2, 2024A Day in the Life of Taylor Swift, as Imagined by Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorists
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February 2, 2024Our Digital Media Platform Will Revolutionize News and Is Also Shutting Down
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February 2, 2024An Open Letter to the Driving Examiner Who Flunked My Kid
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February 1, 2024Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Possibly Flirtatious Texts
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