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Am I Smiling Correctly?
“Am I doing it right? Is this what regular people look like when they’re happy?” -
A Hollywood Executive’s Notes on a Birthing Video
“I hate to say it, but your female lead just isn’t likable. For the film to work, we have to want to root for the main character, but I couldn’t empathize with her at all. Does she really have to be shouting obscenities the whole time?” -
Short Imagined Monologues
Miss Piggy Does the “Cool Girl” Monologue from Gone Girl
“Cool Pig. Frogs always say that’s what they want. Cool Pig is cold. Cold-blooded, that is. A feat managed by sheer willpower overriding her mammalian biology and, also regular ice baths.” -
I’m About to Relate to Your Story by Telling My Own Semi-Related Story
“You tell me and two others about a recent rock-climbing trip. Unfortunately, this seems to have all the makings of a multi-minute anecdote. But one thing keeps me from walking away: the opportunity to top your story with one of my own.” -
Short Imagined Monologues
The Narrator of “Jessie’s Girl” Offers an Apology after Completing His Master’s in Women’s and Gender Studies
“I want to begin by owning my white male privilege and apologizing to the American public, in particular to the woman who formerly dated my friend Jessie. I’m sorry that I still don’t know your name.”
Trending
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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January 19, 2023Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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January 23, 2023What Colleges’ Emails Read Like to High School Seniors
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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January 30, 2023Remembering Paul La Farge
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January 30, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Alex Dimitrov
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January 18, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: A. E. Stallings
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January 10, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Yona Harvey
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January 2, 2023McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Jason Roeder About Griefstrike!, His New McSweeney’s Humor Book About Grief
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December 20, 2022Announcing the Stephen Dixon Award for Short Fiction
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December 16, 2022A Note about the American Teacher Act
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“This is the hilarious and informative grief handbook I didn’t know I needed. But hopefully not too soon.”
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“Novels this tightly rendered and sharp are hardly ever so human, hardly ever this warm. Bill Cotter’s outdone himself.” —Adam Levin, author of The Instructions
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