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Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s Running In the Democratic Primary?”
ABBOTT: Who’s in first, Buttigieg is in second, I Don’t Know is in third, Amy is doing very well, and Bloomberg is surging!
COSTELLO: Oh, wow! Bloomberg is surging! Amy’s doing very well! But wait, who’s in first? -
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Self-Care Tips for Toddlers
“Don’t feel bad about saying no. It’s one of the first words we learn for a reason. Use it wisely. Become comfortable with saying no by saying it loudly, over and over again to every question anyone asks you, especially ‘Do you need a nap?’” -
Animals Got Problems
Seize the Day… Tomorrow
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The Great American Bison: A History of Death and Resilience
“Back in the early 1800s, there were billions of bison roaming the great plains. They covered the very ground in a thick blanket of fur or hair or whatever they have. In fact, all of Nebraska was once covered up with bison. Every square inch.” -
We Have Exciting Deals On Your Child’s School Photos — We Also Have Your Child
“We’d much rather it hadn’t come to this, but by leaving us to conclude that building a lifelong collection of cherished school memories is no longer meaningful to you, you’ve forced us to escalate beyond our usual marketing tactics.”
Trending
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February 12, 2020Who Said It: Mike Bloomberg or Lucille Bluth?
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February 13, 2018If Literature’s “Complicated Men” Were On Tinder
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February 12, 2016The Pagan Origins of Valentine’s Day
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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February 6, 2020To All the Bernie Bros I’ve Loved Before
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November 20, 2019I Am a Trader Joe’s Parking Lot and I Am Here to Destroy You
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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February 10, 2020
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: The Woman In the Closet -
February 10, 2020
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Ghost Lover -
January 7, 2020McSweeney’s Announces New Reproductive Freedom Anthology Edited by Shelly Oria
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November 19, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: An Interview With Three Contributors to the New Book Unnecessarily Beautiful Spaces for Young Minds On Fire -
November 12, 2019
A Letter From Our Executive Director -
November 8, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: “We Should Have Closed Up Shop Back In ’09 After We Helped Cure Bird Flu”: The Editors’ Note From Keep Scrolling Till You Feel Something -
November 7, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Shouting Wenkie
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Recent Posts
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February 18, 2020What Your Dog’s Breed Says About You, Part 2
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February 18, 2020I’m the Coroner In the Game of Clue, and My Job Is a Lot Harder Than You’d Think
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February 17, 202017 Timeless Presidential Quotes About Your Bathroom Renovation
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February 17, 2020The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself… and Goblins
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February 17, 202016 Ways to Keep Things Spicy AF When You’re Dating the Ghost of President Warren G. Harding
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