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Notes for the Writers’ Room of the Second Cold War
“Kind of feels like we’re doing the first Cold War but with the Chinese instead of the Soviets. A communist country threatening to cause a domino effect in a foreign continent while beefing with the United States over an island—it’s a bit on the nose, isn’t it?” -
Who Is the GOAT: Jordan, Lebron, or Pythagoras?
“While both Jordan and Lebron have logged more game-winning shots than Pythagoras, there is more to basketball than shooting. Over his entire career, Pythagoras recorded an astonishing ZERO turnovers in the last two minutes of games.” -
The Jedi Academy Will No Longer Teach Anakin Skywalker’s Massacre of the Younglings
“This isolated incident does not reflect who we are as a modern society and does not need to be taught to our youth.” -
Correspondence with My Preschooler Regarding Our Updated Dinner Policy
“The Human Resources/Leadership committee has enacted a new one-bite rule. All household members with 4+ years experience are now required to take one bite of the prepared meal at the dinner table before additional food options are enabled.” -
Oh, Look at Mr. Fancy Pants Over Here Eating His Eggs
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mr. Big Shot eating an egg for breakfast. You do understand people are suffering, right? They can’t pay their rent. They can’t afford their medications. And yet here you are, eating an egg for breakfast.”
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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January 27, 2023The Narrator of “Jessie’s Girl” Offers an Apology after Completing His Master’s in Women’s and Gender Studies
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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January 25, 2023How to Become a Professional Writer
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February 3, 2023FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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February 7, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Ross Gay
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January 30, 2023Remembering Paul La Farge
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January 30, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Alex Dimitrov
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January 18, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: A. E. Stallings
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January 10, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Yona Harvey
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January 2, 2023McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Jason Roeder About Griefstrike!, His New McSweeney’s Humor Book About Grief
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December 20, 2022Announcing the Stephen Dixon Award for Short Fiction
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In Darkwater, early twentieth-century statesman of Black-American discourse W.E.B. Du Bois weaves autofiction with poetry, social essay, science fiction, and Afrofuturist storytelling.
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Recent Posts
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February 6, 2023Wedding Dress Codes Certain to Impress and Befuddle Your Guests
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February 3, 2023Our New AP African-American Studies Course Will Cover Black History from January 1996 to December 1996
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February 3, 2023FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
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February 3, 2023I’m the Kid from The Red Balloon, and That Thing Over Montana Is Not from China
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February 2, 2023Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How Great That Makes Them
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