Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Our Latest Post
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Rules of Improv While Playing With Toddlers
"Disagreement is the foundation of all improv scenes with toddlers. Accept the reality crafted by them, but do not attempt to add any information of your own. Toddlers have zero respect for your worldview." -
Lists
“Life Is a Rollercoaster”: Other Life-Themed Amusement Park Rides
"Nothing’s fair on that Unferris Wheel we call life. For example, your life comes to a complete halt when someone new gets on board, even if they’re not yours. Like, if it’s your brother’s kid, why do you have to lock up your machete? Unfair." -
Why Superman Sucks
"Superman is an unrealistic character and it’s impossible to tell a decent story about him for one reason: If Superman were real, he would have a full-on erection at all times." -
I Am Your Dread Lord Nyarlathotep, and You All Better Stop Scouring My Recently Recovered Grimoires for a Banishment Spell
"I mean it, guys -- I'm warning you! You better stop parsing the faded text in those ancient tomes over there, hoping to finally find an obscure spell sending me back to the Chaos Dimension." -
Lists
Cost Saving Advantages of Perimenopause
"Tropical vacations: You’re hot enough in your own home with the windows open and heat off. Thanks, hot flashes."
Trending
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July 11, 2018Abortion is Immoral, Except When It Comes to My Mistresses
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May 20, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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May 8, 2019Hello, I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door
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May 13, 2019Yeah Sex Is Cool, But Have You Tried Being a Woman In Your 30s?
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May 17, 2019Honestly, We Just Hate Women
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May 17, 2019List: Reviewing Course Evaluations: The Drinking Game
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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May 23, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: I Want a Friend -
May 8, 2019
Amanda Davis, Super Friend -
May 6, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Damn You, Ira Glass and Your Perfect Male Vocal Fry -
April 16, 2019
Submission Call for What You Need To Know About Me, An Exciting New Anthology -
March 22, 2019
Phoenix, a New Mini-Book by Dave Eggers About His Visit to an Arizona Trump Rally, at Which Dozens of Citizens Freely Carried AR-15s, Hundreds (Including the Author) Were Teargassed, and Miraculously No One Was Killed or Wounded -
February 8, 2019
McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Leland De La Durantaye About His Novel, Hannah Versus the Tree -
February 7, 2019
McSweeney’s Wins the 2019 National Magazine Award for Fiction
News & Announcements
Over in the Store
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In the wake of winning of the 2019 National Magazine Award for fiction, at the precipice of our 21st year, and in anticipation of wonderment to come, we are bundling together a full subscription's... -
Out now, Issue 55 gathers work from Laura van den Berg, R. O Kwon, Alexander Chee, and T Kira Madden. -
The second installment of our Manifesto Series is available for preorder. Orders will ship late January, 2019. Since the 2016 election, reading the news each day can send even the most placid... -
The wait is over! Castle on the River Vistula is the final book of the Chelsea Trilogy, and buried within its pages is the long-awaited finale of Sophie Swankowski's riveting, gritty tale....
Recent Posts
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May 23, 2019The Thing I Need Most In My Life Right Now Is a Purpose-Driven Paper Towel Brand
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May 23, 2019Dispatches From a Guy Trying Unsuccessfully to Sell a Song in Nashville: Dispatch 49: Wrecking My Car, Part I
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May 22, 2019“Old Town The Road” By Lil Nas X, Featuring Cormac McCarthy
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May 22, 2019List: Witch Spells to Keep Ruth Bader Ginsburg Alive Forever
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May 22, 2019Reviews of New Food: CAVA Grain Bowl
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