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The People Have Questions About Voting, Democracy, Laws, Treason, and Civil War. Stand By
“Ah, a presidential election is glorious — the moment where hundreds of millions of Americans get to express their opinion through the polls, and then, either way, the president stays in office.” -
Lists
Decorating Tips for the Fall of Society
“Worried you’re going to feel like this forever? Two words: accent wall. Pick a rich earth tone and get painting. Then, paint the wall right next to it so you have a dark corner to stare into while the voices tell you to move to Canada.” -
I’m Worried Biden Is Going to Steal the Election By Getting Many, Many More Votes Than the President
“All that talk from the Biden campaign of policy and responsibility and unity is just posturing for his base. What most Americans want are racist tweets, gross exploitation of the office of the president for personal gain, and an ongoing feud with a dead John McCain.” -
Why Didn’t Sauron Condemn the Orc Hordes?
“I’m totally puzzled, you guys. After being asked to comment on the orc hordes maiming and eradicating whole villages, Sauron kind of sidestepped the question and started talking about how orcs actually have great table manners? What does this mean?” -
Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps
The One That Broke Us
“Trump flippantly says he’d be willing, sure, and says, ‘Proud boys? Stand back and stand by.’ Wallace moves on because that certainly isn’t a statement that would lead one to ask many more questions of a sitting president, and clearly requires no follow-up at all.”
Trending
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September 3, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-889
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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January 18, 2019FAQ: The Status of the Shits Women Have Left to Give
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September 14, 2020I Appreciate Your Concern, But Our Enormous Wedding Was Socially Distanced
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September 14, 2020I Like My Men Like I Like My… (2020 Edition)
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August 24, 2020Frog and Toad Tentatively Go Outside After Months In Self-Quarantine
Over at McSweeney's Publishing
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October 1, 2020
For The Voter Who Wants Gun Control Now -
October 1, 2020
For the Voter Who Lost Hope in 2016 -
September 30, 2020
Announcement for Lovers of Music and Democracy -
September 29, 2020
Short Conversations With Poets: Danez Smith -
September 28, 2020
Short Conversations With Poets: Shane McCrae -
September 24, 2020
An Interview With Dave Eggers and Annie Dills About Their New Book, The Lights & Types of Ships at Night -
September 21, 2020
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Recent Posts
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September 30, 2020An Open Letter to My Lactose Intolerant Friend Regarding My COVID Intolerance
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September 29, 2020Anybody Know the Combo That Makes Biden Perform a Fatality?
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September 29, 2020I Went to Necromancy School With Zonomaw the Facerender, and Liberals Have Nothing to Fear About Her Joining the Supreme Court
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September 29, 2020On the Seventh Day, God Created Parenting, and Then Parenting Created Coffee
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September 28, 2020An English Major In the Afterlife
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