The Believer Magazine
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Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
“Back in your day, people were more afraid of measles than of the vaccine that prevents it.” -
A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
GARY: This relationship has been such a value-add. Some of my friends were worried that it would take too long for us to get into alignment. But you have been an absolute rockstar.
CINDY: I feel the same, Gary. The ROI on this relationship has been unbelievable. -
Who Better to Address Sexual Assault in the Military Than a Man Who Has Been Accused of Sexual Assault?
“Trump should be putting forward more candidates with credible allegations of sexual assault against them. It’s proven time and time again to be the most reliable way to get a Republican man into a position of power.” -
One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore
“These days, no one asks me about pronouns; they’re too busy searching for potable water.” -
Lists
Mark Zuckerberg Makes Meta More Masculine
“The committee for protecting workplace culture and preventing harassment will be replaced by a recording that says, ’What’s the matter? Can’t you take a joke?’”
Trending
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 1, 2025Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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January 3, 2025Local Alternatives to “California Sober”
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January 10, 2025Massachusetts Road Signs
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January 1, 2025Our 24 Most-Read Pieces of 2024
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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January 7, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Carol Moldaw
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December 13, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Ancient to the Future
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December 11, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Kevin McCallister’s Mom
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December 6, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Musician Jack Stratton
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December 4, 2024Announcing the International Library of Youth Writing
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November 29, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Signs
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November 22, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Filmmaker and Musician Boots Riley
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Recent Posts
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January 13, 2025Your Mom Has Been Acquired by Omnimomcorp
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January 13, 2025An Apology from Snapple Regarding Several Snapple Facts That Went Out Last Year
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January 10, 2025Massachusetts Road Signs
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January 10, 2025Your Thirties Are the Best Years of Your Life, Unfortunately
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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