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Halloween Costumes We Already Have in Our Closet
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Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
An Open Letter to Tiffany & Co. About Their Advertising Campaign for the Ring That Helps Women Remember They Survived Cancer
“Whenever I’d undress in front of the mirror and see the jagged, red hip-to-hip scar, my breasts (which are positioned unusually high up for a woman nearing fifty) and the Dr. Frankenstein nipples fashioned from scar tissue, I’d have to think REALLY HARD to remember.” -
Lists
Quiz: Is Your Child Two Years Old?
“Have you ever put blueberries in oatmeal then taken blueberries out of oatmeal then put blueberries back in oatmeal then left the kitchen in retreat?” -
To Win in 2022, Republicans Must Fight Cancel Culture and Fire Anyone Who Teaches Critical Race Theory
“Freedom of speech is central to who we are as a nation, except when that speech attempts to articulate a theory of the complex relationship between our legal system and the history of institutional racism in this country. Sorry, but that crosses a line.” -
Are You in a Haunted House or the State of Texas?
Are the lights flickering?
A. Yes, that is a special effect to create a fun spooky atmosphere.
B. Yes, the power grid is failing, and we aren’t going to fix it.
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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October 8, 2021A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 14, 2021Academic Job Market or Squid Game?
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September 30, 2021This Is Your Kid’s School and Even Though the Emergency Contact Form Lists Your Husband, We Need You, the Mom
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October 22, 2021Actually, Sandworm Attacks Have Only a One Percent Death Rate
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October 27, 2021Short Conversations with Poets: Diane Seuss
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October 25, 2021Short Conversations with Poets: Nate Klug
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October 21, 2021An Interview with Farah Ali About Her New Book, People Want to Live
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September 20, 2021Dear McSweeney’s Crossword Puzzle
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September 20, 2021McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Shelly Oria, Editor of Indelible in the Hippocampus: Writings from the Me Too Movement
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September 16, 2021Short Conversations with Poets: Eleanor Wilner
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September 14, 2021Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: Delandria
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Recent Posts
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October 25, 2021Jim, We Need to Talk About the Serial Copy-and-Pasting in Your Work Emails
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October 22, 2021Actually, Sandworm Attacks Have Only a One Percent Death Rate
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October 22, 2021Halloween Costume Ideas for New Parents
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October 21, 2021It’s Time We Get Back to the Traditional Family Values of Absentee Fathers
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October 21, 2021Due to Current Travel Mandates We’ve Decided to Make COVID-19 Testing at Our Airport a Complete Nightmare
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