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I Regret to Announce That I Will Not Be Canceling My Plans with You Tonight
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Famous Taglines That Have No Sexual Innuendo Whatsoever
Gatorade’s “IS IT IN YOU?”: This tagline concerns the supreme pleasure of hydration, nothing more. And really, what could be better? What could be more satisfying than finishing off a sweaty act of physical exertion with a big, hearty swallow? -
Really? You’re Too Good for Our Newsletter? Wow
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Other Election Fraud Indictment Quotes That Indicate Co-Conspirator 1 Is Probably Rudy Giuliani
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Short Imagined Monologues
I Am Trump’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer, and Once Again, I Have No Fucking Clue What Is Happening
“Nothing in law school prepared me for this.”
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July 26, 2023How to Ensure Your Annual Beach Vacation Destroys Your Relationship with Your Extended Family
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July 25, 2023The Louvre Is Thrilled to Announce It Is Rebranding to “UVR”
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July 19, 2023We’re Subletting Our Fourth Bed Space While Bedmate Visits Chocolate Factory
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July 7, 2023A Camping Trip with Young Kids, as Imagined by Me Before Having Kids
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July 31, 2023Dangerous Children’s Picture Books That Could Be Lurking in Your Home
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July 27, 2023We Promise Our STEM Toys Will Never Teach Your Child the Humanities
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August 2, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Mary Austin Speaker
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July 25, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Daniel Brock Johnson
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July 19, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Eric McHenry
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July 12, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Michael Earl Craig
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June 28, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Paisley Rekdal
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June 21, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Hanif Abdurraqib
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June 14, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Devin Johnston
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Recent Posts
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August 2, 2023I’m a Four-Year-Old on Prednisone, and I’m About to Bench Press this Power Wheels
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August 1, 2023Captain Ahab’s Third Hour Playing the Claw Machine at Dave & Buster’s
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August 1, 2023Things I Definitely Wouldn’t Bring If I Were Stranded on a Desert Island
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July 31, 2023This Summer, I’m Gonna Totally Bang Emily Dickinson
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July 31, 2023Dangerous Children’s Picture Books That Could Be Lurking in Your Home
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