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The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
“Fermented all the juice boxes during snack time. I can’t prove it. But I know he did it.” -
Aw, Hell, We Left
Big Gert in Space“Easy mistake, you know? We left her out of the PR materials due to her unsettling loping gait and the tonsil hair. We intentionally centered the narrative around a six-woman space crew. Six beautiful ladies in space.” -
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1925 or 2025?
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Short Imagined Monologues
I’m the Zipper on Your Preschooler’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket, and I’m Gonna Destroy Your Morning
“You thought this morning was going well, didn’t you? You even got your kid to put on their shoes without a ten-minute existential crisis about sock seams. You were this close to making it out the door unscathed.” -
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Additional Recession Indicators
“The next season of The White Lotus is set in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.”
Trending
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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April 17, 20251925 or 2025?
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 9, 2025I Didn’t Think Things Would Get This Chaotic When We Elected President Donkey Kong
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 15, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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April 18, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: “Like a G6”
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April 15, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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April 14, 2025This Is How We Love: The Foto-Novel
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April 11, 2025Reviews of New Food: Coffee Mate White Lotus Thai Iced Coffee Creamer
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April 10, 2025A Note About Our New Edition of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass
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April 4, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Noah Hawley
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner
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Our friends at Voice of Witness have an excellent lineup of guest speakers who will share insights from their oral history work. Click for more info.
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NEW YORK: Join us April 23rd to celebrate Jason Roeder being a finalist for this year’s Thurber Prize for American Humor Writing. Click for details.
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April 16, 2025The Ten Commandments, Annotated for Use in Your AI-Enhanced Classroom
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April 16, 2025Taxi Driver If Travis Bickle Really Got into Birdwatching
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April 15, 2025Would You Like Us to Spend Your Tax Dollars on Meals on Wheels or a Billionaire’s Yacht?
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April 14, 2025This Applebee’s Goes Hard
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April 14, 2025As Surgeon General, I Will Replace the Outdated, Inaccurate Body Mass Index with a Group of Catty, Mean-Spirited Middle Schoolers
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