ARCHIVE

I Have Signed the Guestbook of Your Charming Cottage By the Sea
by Dan Kennedy (8/26/2016)

List: Back-to-School Shopping List for Your Teenager Who’s Just Going Through a Phase
by Madison Seely (8/26/2016)

Doing Science: The Oxygen Crisis, or, Sometimes These Things Name Themselves
by Emily Helliwell (8/26/2016)

I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Write the Syllabus for Your Class
by Robin Lee Mozer (8/25/2016)

List: Ways to Keep the Teeming Hordes of Humanity From Stealing Your Valuables at the Beach
by Rebecca Turkewitz (8/25/2016)

Key Ring Chronicles: Submariner’s EAB Manifold Dust Cover
by Scott A. Wells (8/25/2016)

I Cannot In Good Conscience Vote For Any Candidate Who Shares My Beliefs
by Kevin Horst (8/24/2016)

List: If Password Security Questions Were Your Parent’s Postgrad Criticisms
by Kyra Baldwin (8/24/2016)

My Own Private Shock Corridor: My Ontological Argument: Part 2 — In a Lonely Place
by Bob Schneider (8/24/2016)

Do You Have a Child or Have You Just Been Followed Home By a Hyena?
by Kira Jane Buxton (8/23/2016)

List: Facebook Posts by People You Went to High School With Scavenger Hunt—Election Edition
by Derrick Fenner (8/23/2016)

Rebunking Conspiracy Theories: Technology Suppression
by Keaton Patti (8/23/2016)

Actually, I’m Teaching These Kids Way More Than They’re Teaching Me
by Jeremiah Budin (8/22/2016)

Inside Witnesses: One Crime’s Many Narratives: James’s Father Reflects
by Marti Jonjak (8/22/2016)

Monologue: Assuming My Alcohol Ankle Monitor is Off, My Wife’s Incarceration is Over and I Can Get my Swimsuit Fixed, I Plan to Kick Some Ass at the 2020 Summer Olympics
by Mike Garland (8/22/2016)

List: Honest Excerpts From Your Acquaintance’s Travel Blog
by Becca Pearce (8/22/2016)

Classic College Movies Updated for the Adjunct Era
by Shannon Reed (8/19/2016)

I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Duck Boat Driver
by Joslyn Sklar and Justin Sklar (8/19/2016)

Monologue: A Mother Gives Her 30-Something Daughter “The Talk.”
by Madelyne Xiao (8/19/2016)

No One is Sadder Than I Am About the Most Recent Celebrity Death
by Pete Reynolds (8/18/2016)

List: Five Teen Advice Column Questions Submitted by a Perimenopausal Woman
by Alice Werther (8/18/2016)

Reviews of New Food
by Various New Food Tasters (8/18/2016)

Letters to McSweeney’s
by Various Letter Writers (8/17/2016)

Congress is Completely Useless, Except For the Time They Helped Me Get All Those Insects Out of My Futon
by Max Feldman (8/17/2016)

How to Be a Better Teacher-Person Through Apathy: WikiLeaks Documents Release: Emails From the English Department Faculty Listserv
by John Minichillo (8/17/2016)

List: Common Bird Calls, As Identified By My Mother
by Juliana Gray (8/17/2016)

A Picture is No Longer Worth a Thousand Words
by Chloe Arnold (8/16/2016)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Preeclampsia
by Rhiannon Giles (8/16/2016)

List: Charles Bukowski’s Email Newsletter Subject Lines
by Amanda Rosenberg (8/16/2016)

We’re Looking for a Pop-Culture Obsessed Blogger/Demon Hunter to Join Our Team!
by Eric Farwell (8/15/2016)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.