Archive

I Am the Christmas Lights You Still Have Up and I Am Begging You, Please Take Me Down

I’m Sorry I Haven’t Graded Your Essays Yet — I’ve Been Busy Living Under Late-Stage Capitalism During a Global Pandemic

Beer Is Proof

The Only Acceptable Form of Free Speech Is Giving Me Money

Is Your Child Practicing the Recorder, or Are Winged Harpies from the Seventh Circle of Hell Tormenting You from Within Your Own Home?

Cancel Culture Has Gotten Out of Control, Which Is Why I’m Canceling My MLB TV Subscription

“Thank You for Coming”: A Remembrance of the Gratitude and the Gorgeousness of Public Readings

We’re Stepping Away from Banking to Focus on Pens

I’m the Mechanic Who Built the Magic School Bus, and I Am Tired of Ms. Frizzle Getting All the Credit

Brood X or Gen X?

Every HOA Ordinance Violated in the Song “Our House” by Madness

Leaked Emails from Simon Peter to Members of the Alpha Omega Fraternity