- - - -

Send your list submissions to

- - - -
- - - -
Ways to Keep the Teeming Hordes of Humanity From Stealing Your Valuables at the Beach
by Rebecca Turkewitz (8/25/2016)

If Password Security Questions Were Your Parent’s Postgrad Criticisms
by Kyra Baldwin (8/24/2016)

Facebook Posts by People You Went to High School With Scavenger Hunt—Election Edition
by Derrick Fenner (8/23/2016)

Honest Excerpts From Your Acquaintance’s Travel Blog
by Becca Pearce (8/22/2016)

Five Teen Advice Column Questions Submitted by a Perimenopausal Woman
by Alice Werther (8/18/2016)

Common Bird Calls, As Identified By My Mother
by Juliana Gray (8/17/2016)

Charles Bukowski’s Email Newsletter Subject Lines
by Amanda Rosenberg (8/16/2016)

Soothing Sounds for Today’s Modern Ambien-Intolerant Woman
by Kyle Statham and Stacey Greenberg (8/12/2016)

Places Van Morrison Thinks He May Have Left His Keys
by Jack Lewis (8/11/2016)

Other Types of Tiny Houses
by Dave Petraglia (8/10/2016)

Advice for First Dates
by Ashley Rattner (8/9/2016)

Translations of Common Job Descriptions
by Jesse Sherwood (8/8/2016)

Unpopular Beer Mile Spinoffs
by Matt Izzi (8/4/2016)

10 Arguments For and Against Having Sex Now That We Live Together
by Jess Nicol (8/2/2016)

Warning Signs Your Graduate Degree Abroad May Have Been a Mistake
by Jon Flieger (8/1/2016)

Demands from California Delegation BernieBros to NOT Disrupt Hillary Clinton’s Acceptance Speech
by Christopher Monks and John Warner (7/28/2016)

7 Romantic Places for You and Your Dream Guy Who Lives With His Girlfriend
by Madeleine Trebenski (7/28/2016)

5 Signs That Your Tinder Date is Actually a TGI Friday’s Baked Potato Skin
by Becky Mandelbaum (7/27/2016)

Comforting Thoughts for #NeverHillary Bernie Supporters After Trump’s First Term
by David Kawalec (7/26/2016)

Bivalve eHarmony Ads
by Kristy Eldredge (7/25/2016)

Who Said It? Donald Trump or Regina George?
by Amber Karlins (7/22/2016)

BreitBard: The Canonical Plays
by Matthew Solomon and Stacey Garratt (7/21/2016)

Final Schedule for the 2016 Republican National Convention
by John Moe (7/18/2016)

What to Say When Your Coworker Forgets the Attachment
by Michael Antoinetti (7/15/2016)

Categories I Divided My Belongings Into Using the KonMari Method
by Valerie Nies (7/14/2016)

17 Signs You’re In a Long-Term Relationship With Iced Coffee
by Micah Osler (7/13/2016)

50 Questions Doctors Ask Instead of Just Asking If I’m Gay
by Grace Perry (7/12/2016)

Etiquette Tips for Women Who Insist on Aging
by Eena Ruffini (7/11/2016)

Things We’ve All Said In a Dressing Room
by Kate Sidley (7/8/2016)

EDM DJ or Hormonal Contraceptive?
by Kim Windyka (7/7/2016)

4 Delicious Twitter Egg Recipes
by Sam Vesti (7/6/2016)

Pros and Cons of Hillary Clinton’s Top 20 Vice-Presidential Candidates
by John Moe (7/5/2016)

How We Celebrate The Fourth of July
by Randal Wetzel (7/4/2016)

Names of Canadian Military Operations
by Jay Welch (7/1/2016)

Millennial Constitutional Amendments
by Zain Khalid (6/30/2016)

An Editor’s Reference List for Positive Feedback
by Chelsey Clammer (6/29/2016)

Casting Notes from the Lilly-White Notepad of a Hollywood Exec
by Tara Campbell (6/28/2016)

Business Ideas Sparked By My Passion for Drinking Monster Energy Drinks
by Alexa Loftus (6/24/2016)

Notable Reviews from My 1982 Diary
by Jocelyn Pihlaja (6/23/2016)

Five Ways to Help a Mother Whose Child is Having a Meltdown in Aisle 14
by Devorah Blachor (6/22/2016)

The Seven Sins of Man
by Sam Pasternack (6/21/2016)

What You’re Actually Saying When You Order a Caesar Salad
by Jenny Dahl (6/20/2016)

Classic Stepdad Jokes
by Brian Polk and Kathleen Chen (6/17/2016)

Rules for My Kids That I Enforce With the Relentlessness of a Starving Wolverine
by Andrew Knott (6/17/2016)

A Helpful Guide to Lesser-Known Religious Affiliations
by Shannon Reed (6/16/2016)

10 Billy Joel Song Titles That Are Also Answers You Give to the Insurance Adjuster Who Suspects You and Your Associates of Arson
by Gustavo Turner (6/15/2016)

Woke Classic Lit
by Maura Quint and Wayne Gladstone (6/14/2016)

What Your Run-In With That Random Acquaintance Says About You
by Madeline Popelka (6/13/2016)

Fitspiration or Charles Manson Quote?
by Kate DeSimone (6/10/2016)

How to Properly Dispose of Your Light Bulbs
by Jeff Loveness (6/9/2016)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.