- - - -

Send your list submissions to

- - - -
- - - -
20 Ways to Talk to Me About Your Home-Brewing Hobby
by Darren Hoyt (10/21/2016)

Award Certificates for Modern Adults
by Sam Weiner (10/20/2016)

Phrase Uttered by Donald Trump in Last Night’s Debate or Title of Classic Cheesy Pop Song?
by Walter Carson (10/20/2016)

Scarface If Written Via Texting
by Wendi Aarons (10/19/2016)

Famous Inspirational Quotes Rewritten for Real Life
by RK Pendergrass (10/18/2016)

How to Speak Your Truth
by Greta Moran (10/17/2016)

16 Useful Mnemonics for Commonly Misspelled Words From a Desperate Writer Who Told Us He Knew 20
by Ted Pillow (10/14/2016)

Rejected Song Titles from Bon Iver’s Album, 22, A Million
by Brian McGovern (10/14/2016)

Marketing Tag Lines of American Universities, Paired With Other, Non-University Corporations
by Susan Harlan (10/13/2016)

Forthcoming ’80s Remakes That Haunt the Nightmares of the Alt-Right
by Sean Gill (10/12/2016)

How to Know If Your College Has a Race Problem
by Meg Fernandes (10/11/2016)

The Perfect Yacht Rock Song for Every Occasion
by Wendi Aarons (10/10/2016)

Things to Discuss With My Doctor Before the Hysterectomy
by N. West Moss (10/7/2016)

MLA Formatted Outline for a Drake Album
by Evan O'Neil (10/6/2016)

Return Policies of Various Academic Philosophies
by Alex Baia (10/5/2016)

10 Reasons John Cheever Wouldn’t Last 5 Minutes as a Single Mom
by Jeanne Darst (10/4/2016)

Jewish Holidays That Sarah Siblowski and I Fabricated to Get Out of School While Coming of Age in Utah in the 1980s
by Tracy Manaster (10/3/2016)

Uber Reviews of Literary Journeys
by Rocky Rakovic (9/29/2016)

The Ways People on Dateline “Had it All” According to the Family Cat
by Dan Rozier (9/28/2016)

World of Warcraft Character or Prescription Medication That Has Been the Subject of a Class Action Lawsuit?
by Paul Bigioni (9/27/2016)

Jill Stein Canvassers Who Wouldn’t Buy Me Tampons
by Hana Michels (9/26/2016)

Lesser-Known Writing Fellowships
by Kathleen Founds (9/23/2016)

Things I Love About Fall in New England
by Elisa Abatsis (9/22/2016)

Country Songs for Progressives
by Tricia England (9/21/2016)

The Tracklist for My All-White, Entirely Male Punk Band’s Forthcoming Trump-Era Opus
by Tom Noonan (9/20/2016)

Real Housewives of Shakespeare Tag Lines
by Maley Thompson (9/19/2016)

Vogue Asked Kendall Jenner 73 Questions and Yet We Still Know Nothing About Her Thoughts on Gerrymandering. Here Are Seven Additional Questions We Demand She Answer. Now
by Gary M. Almeter (9/16/2016)

11 Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Friends, You Idiot
by Jonathan Zeller (9/15/2016)

Reasons Why I, Your Adjunct Instructor, Will Not Hold Office Hours Today
by Jacob Aplaca (9/14/2016)

Vague Quotes from Beat Generation Authors to Make Straight Cisgendered White Men Feel Good About Their Choices
by Liz Arcury (9/13/2016)

21st Century Campaign Gaffe or Popular Song Title?
by John Macintosh (9/12/2016)

The Ultimate Pub Quiz Team
by Karen Chee (9/7/2016)

13 Bumper Stickers For Existentialist Truck Drivers
by Edson Aran (9/6/2016)

Feminist Basketball Teams
by Zoe Daniels (9/1/2016)

I Have Decided to Marry My Catcaller and Here is Our Wedding Registry
by Cassie Grimaldi (8/31/2016)

A Millennial’s Hierarchy of Needs
by Matt Greenberg (8/30/2016)

6 New Additions to Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Luxury Lifestyle Store
by Ben Hargrave (8/29/2016)

Back-to-School Shopping List for Your Teenager Who’s Just Going Through a Phase
by Madison Seely (8/26/2016)

Ways to Keep the Teeming Hordes of Humanity From Stealing Your Valuables at the Beach
by Rebecca Turkewitz (8/25/2016)

If Password Security Questions Were Your Parent’s Postgrad Criticisms
by Kyra Baldwin (8/24/2016)

Facebook Posts by People You Went to High School With Scavenger Hunt—Election Edition
by Derrick Fenner (8/23/2016)

Honest Excerpts From Your Acquaintance’s Travel Blog
by Becca Pearce (8/22/2016)

Five Teen Advice Column Questions Submitted by a Perimenopausal Woman
by Alice Werther (8/18/2016)

Common Bird Calls, As Identified By My Mother
by Juliana Gray (8/17/2016)

Charles Bukowski’s Email Newsletter Subject Lines
by Amanda Rosenberg (8/16/2016)

Soothing Sounds for Today’s Modern Ambien-Intolerant Woman
by Kyle Statham and Stacey Greenberg (8/12/2016)

Places Van Morrison Thinks He May Have Left His Keys
by Jack Lewis (8/11/2016)

Other Types of Tiny Houses
by Dave Petraglia (8/10/2016)

Advice for First Dates
by Ashley Rattner (8/9/2016)

Translations of Common Job Descriptions
by Jesse Sherwood (8/8/2016)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.