For the most accurate total walk time, select all that apply.

You are wearing sensible shoes -1 min

You are wearing heels +6 min

You are wearing heels (but you are Sarah Jessica Parker) -5 min

You are over 5′10″ -1 min

You are under 5′2″ and staging a protest against your long-legged friends +5 min

You get a CNN alert that starts with: “White House hits Harvard with…” +2 min

You’re having a main-character moment while listening to Rihanna’s “Bitch Better Have My Money” -2 min

You’re having a main-character moment while listening to the Beatles’ “The Long and Winding Road” +2 min

You’re having an unpaid non-union background extra moment +0 min

You are taking a phone call from your mom, and she has juicy hometown gossip +5 min

You are taking a phone call from your mom, and she wants to know what a Labubu is and where to buy one -1 min

You are running after your lover as they board the midnight train going anywhere -5 min

You are listening to an audiobook of Miranda July’s All Fours and get caught up daydreaming about domesticity and dirty hot sex +10 min

You are listening to an audiobook of James Clear’s Atomic Habits (but absorbing nothing… you’ve still got sex on the brain) +0 min

You’re having an A+ hair day, and your route contains several well-maintained reflective glass buildings +3 min

Route contains catcaller -30 sec

Route contains giant choreographed flash mob +3 min

Route contains sad, little flash mob with only one guy really putting his heart into it +3 sec

Route contains a gorgeous, sweaty, shirtless jogger weaving through lanes of traffic +30 sec

Route contains a wounded baby bird you will seriously consider rescuing and rehabbing +1 min

Route contains dogwalker with a worrisome grouping of dogs, including but not limited to: a German shepherd, two chihuahuas, twelve doodles, and a French bulldog in serious need of a rescue inhaler +2 min

You smoked too much weed and have now become paranoid that a flock of pigeons is following you (and wishing you harm) -2 min

Route contains man with a clipboard soliciting monthly donations -10 min

Route contains group of tourists clad in neon ANDERSON SQUAD REUNION ’25 T-shirts +2 min

Route contains a smell that reminds you of Him (the one that got away) +1 min

Route contains a smell that reminds you of Him (frankincense and myrrh) -1 min

Route contains sidewalk chalk hopscotch +10 sec

Route contains surrealist sidewalk chalk labyrinth +45 min

There is enough precipitation that it ruins your hair, but not enough that it’s socially acceptable to whip out an umbrella -2 min

There is a torrential downpour that eats umbrellas for breakfast +7 min

Uh-oh, banana peel! +5 sec

Celeb sighting (Pedro Pascal) +7 min in heaven

Celeb sighting (Mr. Beast) +3 days trapped in an underground cave

Celeb sighting (Sarah Jessica Parker) +0 min