Experience a heart attack while working in the herb garden.
Wonder what its middle school bully is doing now.
Show up to court in a white linen suit.
Drape itself face down over an ottoman in a fit of ennui.
Adjourn to the study for brandy and cigars.
Yearn, long, or pine.
Suspect that something evil has happened in this very room.
Fall for Doreen.
Lose its sense of time in a Hudson News and miss its flight.
Have a least-favorite roommate.
Cultivate a neglectful-dad-type mystique.
Admire the voluptuous nature of a cloud.
Climax in unison with its lover.
Hunt down the nautical animal that took its appendage.
Obtain a meditative state and lose it.
Extend a too-firm handshake to its daughter’s boyfriend.
Swiftly transition from self-loathing to acceptance at the sight of its dead and unwatered fig plant.
Twirl a little parasol and play hard-to-get with the boys at the race track.
Rid itself of the feeling that this yoga retreat is a scam.
Chug this Modelo in front of everyone.
Become shy about its weird areolas.
Give it all up for Doreen.
Continue feeling shame for something it did in fourth grade.
Weep over sins that are not its own.
Tokyo Drift a shopping cart around the grocery store.
Mope effectively.
Fight back basketball-induced tears.
Surrender to the currents of the great unknown through the steady brown eyes of Doreen.
Ride a desert horse atop the high mesas, leaving behind a red cloud of dust and a dark past.
Disarm itself of its own accord for Doreen.
Avoid eye contact with the one student who has accurately pegged its flaws.
Pace.
Flail.
Sashay.
Get down on one knee in a hot-air balloon for Doreen.
Understand and respect pure charisma.
Reassess its sexuality after watching a video of a rug being steam cleaned.
Learn more about itself through the years with Doreen.
Appreciate a well-tailored pleat.
Absorb the embarrassment of Buffalo Exchange rejecting all of its used clothing.
Forget how life was before Doreen.
Lean against an office window sill that overlooks the Manhattan skyline and wonder what it’s all for.
Internalize that it is older than anyone else in this room.
Try and fail to have a child with Doreen.
Wake up in a driveway.
Sense that something has been off lately with Doreen.
Instantly perceive the libidinal atmosphere of a California crystal shop.
Forget the names of everyone who works with Doreen.
Worry that the friend group they are meant to have is somewhere else.
Look at her tired eyes across the breakfast table and realize it can never really know anyone, not even Doreen.
Employ a diet that is maintained through persistent self-hate.
Jointly try a new hallucinogen to reignite what may have never been there for Doreen.
Suffer from seasonal unease.
Succumb to an ice-cream bar.
See that no combination of useless words will bring back Doreen.
Attempt an unreciprocated goodbye hug with Doreen.
Watch as her face, a good face, dissolves back into the crowd.
Disarm itself of its own accord.
Disarm itself of its own accord.
Go to the club.