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Articles by
Madeline Goetz
Madeline Goetz is a researcher for Late Night & a writer for earlier in the night. She lives in New York with her collie, Oskar, in an apartment she really can’t afford.
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July 24, 2024Table Options for Your Dinner Reservation
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May 23, 2024I’m Voting for Him, Not Endorsing Him—There’s a Huge Difference
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June 12, 2023Our RV Has a Kitchen, Bedroom, Bathroom, and Plenty of Space for Our Seven Children
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April 25, 2023How to Hit It Off with My College Friend You’re About to Meet at This Party
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September 21, 2022Welcome to Our Cul-De-Sac
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February 28, 2022I Don’t Speak on Behalf of Other Politicians, Which Is a Practice I Definitely Didn’t Just Make Up to Avoid Talking about Trump Praising Putin
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February 11, 2022The Totally Normal and Perfectly Legal Ways We Stored Official White House Documents
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February 4, 2022Odyssey Cruise Lines Now Offering Competitive Rate of $21 an Hour for a Ten-Year Adventure
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September 3, 2021Do Not Feed the Duck—You Will Only Enable Him
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March 5, 2021Why I’m Selling My 4-Bed, 3-Bath, 37-Moving-Bookcase Home
Trending 🔥
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September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
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September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 19, 2024A Note from Your Child’s School About Its Apps and Websites
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September 19, 2024“Man Is Weak, and When He Makes Strength His Profession, He Is Weaker”: A Conversation with Wrestling Promoter Sean Görman About the Influence of the WWE on Trump’s Every Move
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September 19, 2024Every Type of Movie Sequel Title
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September 18, 2024A Letter You Can Give to Your Children in Twenty Years Explaining That You Don’t Have Photos or Videos of Them as Babies Because You Couldn’t Figure Out How to Handle Your Phone’s Storage