A pedestrian “safety island”
Enjoy lounging on this six-foot urban oasis of grass, cement, and paper plates stained with sunset-hued pizza grease.
The line outside Clinton Street Baking Company
Instead of standing for forty-five minutes in the sun, why not sit? Just remember to scoot your cabana forward a few inches every three minutes. It isn’t so very different from migrating with the rising tide.
The above-ground subway platform in Astoria
Great for tossing a frisbee around—but watch out for the third rail when you’re going long.
The magazine section of Barnes & Noble
Plenty of beach reads here and zero chances a seagull will poop on you.
The laundromat
When you’ve avoided laundry for so long that the only clean outfit in your wardrobe is a bikini, head on over to your local laundromat and enjoy the warm, sea-adjacent breeze from the one working dryer.
Petco
Count how many marine species you can spot in the water, and try not to remove any creatures from their natural habitat—especially not the carnivorous tiger moray eel, which costs $289.99.
The bus lane
If local safety islands are full of sunbathers, quickly set up your chair nearby in this temporarily open space. Sure, you’ll have to jump up and grab all your stuff as the M79 makes roadkill out of your sandcastle, but we all know that buses usually never come, so you’re probably fine.
The Astor Place Starbucks
Before you dismiss this suggestion, remember that “beach” is more a state of mind than it is a location.
That rooftop on the building next door
Sorry, this is a private beach. No trespassing. (Unless you’re dating someone who lives here, which should probably be your new summer goal.)