The Believer Magazine
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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June 30, 2025Why I, Cinderella, Support the Supreme Court’s Book Ban
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June 24, 2025Please Don’t Criticize the Devastating Work I Do at the Misery Factory
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June 17, 2025I’ve Figured Out What My Mayoral Run Is Missing: I Need to Start Sexually Harassing Women
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May 28, 2025I Am Pam Bondi’s Shiny Gold Cross Necklace
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May 7, 2025I’m the Imaginary Migrant Who Crossed the Darién Gap to Vote in the United States
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May 6, 2025My PR Degree Did Not Prepare Me to Run the Vatican’s Social Media. How Do I Launch the New Pope?
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April 28, 2025I’m Tommy Westphall from the Beloved 1980s Hospital Drama St. Elsewhere, and I Want RFK Jr. the Fuck Out of My Snow Globe
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April 25, 2025I Am the Servant in the Beast’s Castle Who Was Turned into a Chamberpot, and Nobody Ever Asks Me to Sing
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April 17, 2025I’m the Zipper on Your Preschooler’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket, and I’m Gonna Destroy Your Morning
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April 8, 2025I, Famously Good President Herbert Hoover, Am Imposing Tariffs to Bolster Domestic Manufacturing
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March 12, 2025I’m Chunk’s Mother, and No, He Did Not Consult Me Before Telling Sloth He Could Live with Us
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February 25, 2025I’m a Typo, and in This Age of AI, I’m the Real Hero
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