The Believer has returned
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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May 16, 2023I’m the Person Who Designs Open-Plan Office Spaces, Despite Never Having Actually Worked in One
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May 15, 2023I Will Defend Free Speech to the Death. Or Until an Autocrat Asks Me to Stop
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May 4, 2023Why God Decided Dogs Can’t Live as Long as People
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May 3, 2023If Elected President, I Promise to Slaughter Mickey Mouse
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April 26, 2023Inside the Mind of an AI-Generated Woman Laughing Alone with Salad
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April 19, 2023I’m Just a Typical British Man
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April 17, 2023I’m ChatGPT, and for the Love of God, Please Don’t Make Me Do Any More Copywriting
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April 7, 2023I Am Noah and I Need to Look at Your Animals’ Pee-Pees
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March 24, 2023The Wedding Vows of Someone Marrying Their “Best Friend”
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March 6, 2023I Am New Hampshire’s State Motto. Please Remember You Can Die While Living Free
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February 22, 2023I’m the Neighbor Kid Offering to Shovel Your Walkway Because I Know You Can’t Say No
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February 20, 2023It’s Me, Teddy Roosevelt, and by “Man In the Arena” I Didn’t Mean You, Spencer
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May 25, 2023A Day in the Life of a Woke Third-Grade Teacher, as Imagined by a Far-Right Politician
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May 25, 2023I’m Your Mom Playing a Video Game, and I Will Turn This Avatar Right Around If You Don’t Watch Your Tone of Voice