Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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January 21, 2020Hi, I’m a Billboard Lawyer
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December 31, 2019I’m Your Boyfriend, Proposing to You in Times Square On New Year’s Eve
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December 18, 2019I Am Your Big Mouth Billy Bass, and I Only Sing Schubert’s “Erlkönig” Now
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December 16, 2019I Am Lady Macbeth, and Your Facebook Post About Your Kid’s Early Acceptance to Harvard Really Pisses Me Off
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December 13, 2019I’m the Duolingo Owl and I’m Tired of Your Bullshit
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December 9, 2019I Am the Final Question On Your Calculus Exam
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December 2, 2019I’m the Host of a Prestigious TV News Show, and I Invite You to Come On-Air to Bullshit Me
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December 2, 2019I Am a Patagonia Vest Warrior Who Conquers Digital Mountains of Excel Spreadsheets
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November 26, 2019I Am the President’s Pardoned Turkey. Please Kill Me
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November 20, 2019I Am a Trader Joe’s Parking Lot and I Am Here to Destroy You
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November 19, 2019I’m Pete Buttigieg, and After a Lot of Soul-Searching, I’ve Realized That I Am a Young Joe Biden
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November 15, 2019Slavoj Žižek Analyzes the Children’s Book Caps for Sale
Trending 🔥
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 21, 2020If Your University’s Administration Ran a Polar Expedition
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November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546