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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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September 13, 2021Miss Trunchbull Asks That You Reconsider Her Methods, Post-Pandemic
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August 13, 2021I’m the Old Lady from Titanic and Let Me Just Tell You Those Nudes Will Leak
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August 12, 2021Oedipus Learns of the Term “Oedipus Complex”
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August 3, 2021I Am a Female Character in a Fantasy Movie, and It Is Integral to the Plot That I Be Topless
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July 27, 2021I’m the Guy Who Wears Jeans in the Summer, and You’ll Never Get Me to Admit That I’m Burning Up
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July 12, 2021I Am an Alien Ambassador and I Only Wish to Speak to Your Richest Human
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July 6, 2021I Am Poseidon, God of the Sea, Reminding You That Every Body Is a Beach Body (But Specifically Virgins Undefiled by the Lusts of Mortal Men)
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June 23, 2021I’ll Come Out of Retirement for This Top Secret Mission, But How Will It Affect My Social Security?
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June 14, 2021Jesus Christ Can’t Stop Obsessing Over His Follower Count
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June 10, 2021Your Neighbor With the Loud Motorcycle Who’s Making Your Life a Living Hell Introduces Himself
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May 25, 2021Why I, the COVID Vaccine, Will Never Get Chad from Tampa
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May 20, 2021The Current Real Estate Market Scoffs at Your Competitive Offer
Trending 🔥
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax