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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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March 5, 2024J. Robert Oppenheimer Is Gonna Party His Ass Off at the Oscars
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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February 7, 2024I Am a Boomer’s iPhone and I Will Not Be Silenced
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January 29, 2024I’m a YouTube Child Star, and I’m Probably Going to End Up President or Something
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January 24, 2024I’m “Flexible Instruction Day,” Formerly Known as “Snow Day”
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January 23, 2024I Am the Balance on Your Gift Card, Unknowable, Eternal
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December 27, 2023The Wedding Vows of Someone Marrying Their “Best Friend”
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December 20, 2023If Sam Wainwright Says “Hee-Haw” One More Time, I’m Going to Fucking Snap
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December 4, 2023I’m a Holiday Gift Guide Writer, and I Really Need You Pricks to Start Playing Backgammon
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November 30, 2023A Garnet Hill Lady Does MDMA
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November 21, 2023We Can’t Let a Couple of LGBTQ Broadway Performers Ruin Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
Trending 🔥
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian