McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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September 20, 2018Monologue: It’s Me, the Plucky, Unlikely Heroine of the Children’s Books That Defined You
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September 11, 2018Monologue: I, Lucius Malfoy, Have Regularly Considered Leaving the Death Eaters
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September 6, 2018Monologue: I Am Brett Kavanaugh, and I Believe the 2017 Academy Award for Best Picture May Have Been Wrongly Decided
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August 8, 2018Monologue: I am the Composer of Veterinarian Hold Music
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July 17, 2018Monologue: Patrick Bateman, American Millennial
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July 16, 2018Monologue: Meet Your Cool New Boss
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July 13, 2018Monologue: I’m Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees. I’ve Been Reading Feminist Theory and Won’t Be Killing Any Over-Sexualized Teenagers This Summer
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July 10, 2018Monologue: I Am a Woman Who Wants You to Hock That Sweet Loogie Over My Way, Big Boy
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June 27, 2018Monologue: It’s Me, the Light-Skinned Black Girl In Your School’s Diversity Pamphlet
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June 18, 2018Monologue: Angela Chase from My So-Called Life, 39, Announces Bid for Congress
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June 5, 2018Monologue: I’m a Copy of Born to Run in a Bed Bath & Beyond and I’m Pulling Out of Here to Win
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June 4, 2018Monologue: Rilke Dangerfield
Trending 🔥
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January 30, 2019Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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September 19, 2017If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises
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February 4, 2019I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors
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February 8, 2019List: Word Problems for the Race Conscious
Recently
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February 15, 2019How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe
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February 15, 2019List: Six Reasons Why You Should Vote for Me, Old White Man Corpse, in 2020
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February 15, 2019Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight
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February 14, 2019Teasers for the Hallmark Channel’s Valentine’s Day Movie Lineup