Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 31, 2019I Am the Nameless, Shapeless Fear That Haunts Your Nightmares, and Even I Am Exhausted
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October 25, 2019I Am Your Pug and I Have Heard the Call of the Wild
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October 21, 2019I’m the Two to Three Years’ Experience You Need For This Entry-Level Job
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September 3, 2019I Am Amazon Cog #257 and I Love My Job Here at Amazon.com
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August 28, 2019The Giving Tree Gets Real
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August 23, 2019I Am Marianne Williamson and, to Clarify, the ‘Dark Psychic Force’ I Mentioned Is the Algerian Military and Its Refusal to Cede Power to the Hirak
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August 19, 2019A Future Message From Generation X’s Reverse Mortgage Pitchman, Trent Reznor
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August 15, 2019“Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner”: Frances “Baby” Houseman, the OG Pro-Choice Activist
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August 12, 2019Karl Marx Visits the Cheesecake Factory
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August 7, 2019I’m a Barn, and I Don’t Want to Host Your Wedding
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July 8, 2019I’m Your Boss’s 10-Year-Old and This Is How I’ll Terrorize You When My Dad Brings Me to Work
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July 1, 2019I’m an Electric Rental Scooter, and I Didn’t Ask for This Bullshit Either
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 14, 2020How to Buckle Your Baby Into a Car Seat in 36 Easy Steps
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November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546
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February 22, 2019Things That Outnumber Women Who’ve Been Nominated for an Oscar for Best Director