SPECIAL DECORATIVE-GOURD-RELATED PROMOTION!
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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May 10, 2021Hey, Girl. It’s Me, the Ball Pit. Can We Talk?
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp
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May 3, 2021It’s Me, God, and Yes, I Do Know What Brian Wilson Would Be Without You: Fine
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April 29, 2021The Self-Checkout Machine at CVS Gaslights You
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April 28, 2021Baba Yaga Announces That She Is Distancing Herself From Tucker Carlson
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April 27, 2021The Cute Dog in This Gritty Drama Knows It’s Toast
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April 26, 2021I’m a Full-Blown Argument, and I Will Be Attending Your Family Dinner
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April 22, 2021Cassandra Speaks Up
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April 20, 2021The Salad Bar Is Back, Baby!
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April 15, 2021Low-Rise Jeans Are Back to Ruin Your Life
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April 14, 2021I Am Alexander the Great, and I Am Terrible at Risk
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April 8, 2021I Am the Christmas Lights You Still Have Up and I Am Begging You, Please Take Me Down
Trending 🔥
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax