McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
June 5, 2018Monologue: I’m a Copy of Born to Run in a Bed Bath & Beyond and I’m Pulling Out of Here to Win
-
June 4, 2018Monologue: Rilke Dangerfield
-
May 31, 2018Monologue: It’s Me, Melania! I Am Right Here! Everything is Fine!
-
May 2, 2018Monologue: I’m Your Outdoor Dream Girl and Not an Evil Wood Nymph Who Wants to Steal Your Soul
-
April 25, 2018Monologue: As a New Yorker, I Am Many Things
-
April 9, 2018Monologue: I’m a Woman On Vacation Doing Yoga and Why the Hell Did I Do This to Myself?
-
April 5, 2018Monologue: I Am the Off-Screen Bathroom Renovation Project That Justifies the Male Lead’s Infidelity in This Indie Movie
-
March 22, 2018Monologue: I’m Truth-O, Your New Honest Facebook Assistant!
-
February 23, 2018Monologue: I’m Wayne LaPierre, and I Fight for Gun Rights Because Every Firearm Is a Sentient Being Containing the Souls of Our Ancestors
-
February 9, 2018Monologue: I’m Just a Misunderstood Marbled Crayfish (Overlord) Who is Certainly Not Planning World Domination
-
February 2, 2018Monologue: I’m Some Guy’s Ill-Informed Political Twitter Thread
-
January 11, 2018Monologue: The Sad Trombone’s Lament
Trending 🔥
-
October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
October 8, 2018Matreon: The Patreon Platform for Emotional Labor
-
October 10, 2018My Common App Essay: “Every School Reading This Except Dartmouth Sucks Ass”
-
October 1, 2018List: Honest Greeting Cards You Should Expect From the Women In Your Life This Week
Recently
-
October 12, 2018I Am Sick and Tired of Constantly Being Bullied for My Extreme Wealth and Political Power
-
October 12, 2018List: Appropriate Moments to Respond With Lady Gaga’s Guttural Howl From the Song “Shallow”
-
October 12, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Daily Disaster
-
October 12, 2018We Regret to Inform You That We Won’t Be Publishing Your Gym Advice