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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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April 6, 2022From Now On, the Fast & Furious’s Dominic Toretto Will Only Drive a Honda Odyssey
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March 31, 2022Maggie May Has Something to Say to You Too, Rod
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March 30, 2022I’m Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
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March 28, 2022I’m Timothée Chalamet, and This Was Supposed to Be My Controversial Oscars Night
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March 25, 2022I Am the Top Humidifier According to Wirecutter and I Can’t Take the Pressure Anymore
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March 9, 2022I Am the Man Who Says “Ciao”
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March 3, 2022I, High-Powered Fashion Editor Miranda Priestly, Demand an Assistant Who Is Terrible
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February 23, 2022The Protagonist’s Best Friend Would Like to Stop Having to Shoehorn So Much Exposition into Their Dialogue
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February 18, 2022I’m Abraham Lincoln and I Beg of You, Please Commemorate My Birthday with Mattress Sales
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February 2, 2022Punxsutawney Phil Reckons with His Jungian Shadow
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January 28, 2022Hello, It’s Me, the Guy Who Gets Visibly Angry at an Image of Minnie Mouse in a Pantsuit
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January 12, 2022Ho There! I Am a Nineteenth-Century Iron Worker and I Await the Day This Factory Is Refurbished into an Up-Market Food Hall
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June 28, 2022We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
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June 14, 2022My Favorite Controlled Substance Is Daycare
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
Recently
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June 30, 2022I’d Rather Drag Your Lifeless Body from This Party Than Wait Here While You Go to the Bathroom
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June 30, 2022Your Kids Have Been Totally Off Screens and Playing Outside for the Entire Fifteen Minutes Before You Arrived to Pick Them Up
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June 30, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: An IUD Called Aunty Fatima
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June 30, 2022Why I Am Not a Writer