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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 23, 2021Will Hunting on Why He Shouldn’t Get an MFA
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 18, 2021American Infrastructure Checks In to Remind You That It Isn’t Actually Supposed to Work
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February 16, 2021I’m the Guy Who Wears Shorts in the Winter, and One Day You Will All Bow Before My Bare Weatherproof Legs
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February 15, 2021I’m William Henry Harrison, and It Seems You’ve Forgotten Me Again This Presidents’ Day
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February 12, 2021I, Cupid, Resign As Mascot of Valentine’s Day Because I’m a Baby and It’s Creepy
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February 11, 2021I’m Your Sudden Onset Adult Acne, and I’m Here to Destroy Your Face, Your Week, and Your Dignity
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February 10, 2021I’m Not Some Sort of Law Expert, I’m Just a Simple Lawyer Representing the Former President in an Impeachment Trial
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February 4, 2021The Terrible Things I Have Said and Done My Entire Life, and Right Up Until a Few Days Ago, Do Not Represent Me As a Person
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January 26, 2021I’m Being Censored, and You Can Read, Hear, and See Me Talk About It in the News, on the Radio, and on TV
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January 20, 2021It’s Me, OLD GUY, the Undeveloped Character in Your Screenplay
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January 15, 2021Even I, Satan, Am Appalled at the State of the Republican Party
Trending 🔥
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March 26, 2021An Excerpt from My New Anxiety Dream Where I’m Blocking the Suez Canal
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April 2, 2021The Party of Family Values Would Like to Expand the Definition of “Family” and Also of “Values”
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March 22, 2021Job Posting: Assistant Professor of Robotics and Animal Husbandry with a Specialization in Dance
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March 29, 2021New and Improved Updates to Slack
Recently
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 9, 2021For Your Return to the Office, We’ve Added Three Rooms for Guttural Screaming
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April 8, 2021The Hallmark Channel Presents: Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”