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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 28, 2022I’m the Last Bottle of Ketchup at Mar-a-Lago and I Live in a State of Constant Fear
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June 28, 2022We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
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June 24, 2022The Virgin Mary Reclaims Her Birth Story
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June 21, 2022Batman Contemplates the Non-Existence of Masturbation in the DC Universe
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June 3, 2022I Am a Carnivorous Kestrel Falcon with Postpartum Depression
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May 19, 2022This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Partner—So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy the Town!
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May 9, 2022I’m the Producer of This Biopic and Here’s Why We Made It Despite Objections from the Subject, Their Family, and the General Public
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May 5, 2022I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pig, Are the Bourgeoisie
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May 3, 2022We’re the Supreme Court, and We Should Have Used Protection
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April 20, 2022I’m the High School’s Theater Director, and I’ve Precast Every Role in This Upcoming Production of Bye-Bye Birdie
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April 15, 2022Hello, It’s Me, Elijah. Who’s the Jerk Who Drank My Cup of Wine?
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November 30, 2022Here’s My Feedback on Your Writing. Thank You for Trusting Me with Your Work
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November 30, 2022As the Oldest Person in this American Eagle Store, What’s My Duty in the Event of an Active Shooter?
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November 29, 2022T. S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land” as Occupy Democrats Tweets
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November 29, 2022Child Interrupts Sing-Along to Examine Whether He Is “Happy” and He “Knows It”