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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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July 27, 2023I’m the Sapphic-Coded Best Friend in a Movie or TV Show, and I’m Definitely Not Queerbaiting
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July 20, 2023Now I Am Become Pretentious, the Sayer of a Famous Quote
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July 17, 2023I Am a Monster Hell Bent on Destroying Earth, but Humans Are More Concerned That I’m a Lesbian
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June 8, 2023Carrie Bradshaw Reflects on the Smoke from the Canadian Wildfires
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May 30, 2023I’m the Epigraph to the Novel You’re Reading, and I Don’t Know Why I’m Here Either
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May 16, 2023I’m the Person Who Designs Open-Plan Office Spaces, Despite Never Having Actually Worked in One
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May 15, 2023I Will Defend Free Speech to the Death. Or Until an Autocrat Asks Me to Stop
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May 4, 2023Why God Decided Dogs Can’t Live as Long as People
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May 3, 2023If Elected President, I Promise to Slaughter Mickey Mouse
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April 26, 2023Inside the Mind of an AI-Generated Woman Laughing Alone with Salad
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April 19, 2023I’m Just a Typical British Man
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April 7, 2023I Am Noah and I Need to Look at Your Animals’ Pee-Pees
Trending 🔥
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian