Internet Tendency

Celebrating our 21st Year!Celebrating our 21st year of publishing daily humor almost every day.

McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

Short Imagined Monologues

Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.

July 13, 2018

Monologue: I’m Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees. I’ve Been Reading Feminist Theory and Won’t Be Killing Any Over-Sexualized Teenagers This Summer

by Johnathan Appel
July 10, 2018

Monologue: I Am a Woman Who Wants You to Hock That Sweet Loogie Over My Way, Big Boy

by Olivia Coady
June 27, 2018

Monologue: It’s Me, the Light-Skinned Black Girl In Your School’s Diversity Pamphlet

by Jenna Lyles
June 18, 2018

Monologue: Angela Chase from My So-Called Life, 39, Announces Bid for Congress

by Sarah Sweeney
June 5, 2018

Monologue: I’m a Copy of Born to Run in a Bed Bath & Beyond and I’m Pulling Out of Here to Win

by Joyce Millman
June 4, 2018

Monologue: Rilke Dangerfield

by Jake Kennedy
May 31, 2018

Monologue: It’s Me, Melania! I Am Right Here! Everything is Fine!

by Robin Zlotnick
May 2, 2018

Monologue: I’m Your Outdoor Dream Girl and Not an Evil Wood Nymph Who Wants to Steal Your Soul

by Madeleine Trebenski
April 25, 2018

Monologue: As a New Yorker, I Am Many Things

by Talia Lavin
April 9, 2018

Monologue: I’m a Woman On Vacation Doing Yoga and Why the Hell Did I Do This to Myself?

by Lauren Tousignant
April 5, 2018

Monologue: I Am the Off-Screen Bathroom Renovation Project That Justifies the Male Lead’s Infidelity in This Indie Movie

by Jennifer Wyatt
March 22, 2018

Monologue: I’m Truth-O, Your New Honest Facebook Assistant!

by Bob Vulfov

Trending 🔥

September 23, 2019

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
October 11, 2019

Comparative Media Studies 201: “Heterosexual Undertones in Top Gun”

by Max Davison
July 22, 2016

List: Who Said It? Donald Trump or Regina George?

by Amber Karlins
July 23, 2019

We Built a Giant Casino In an Economically Depressed, Opioid-Plagued City and We Can’t Understand Where All the High Rollers Are

by Christine Stevens

Recently

October 22, 2019

Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: A Letter From McSweeney’s 57

by Hanif Abdurraqib
October 22, 2019

Open Letters: An Open Plea to My Instagram Acquaintance

by Dylan Gelula
October 21, 2019

Monologue: I’m the Two to Three Years’ Experience You Need For This Entry-Level Job

by Emily Delaney
October 21, 2019

List: Elon Musk or Toad of Toad Hall?

by Harris Wheless