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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 21, 2022In This Housing Market, I’ll Never Be Able to Afford to Haunt My Own Home
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August 29, 2022I’m Frodo Baggins and I Think Destroying the One Ring Wouldn’t Be Fair to Those It Already Ruined
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August 26, 2022A Rebuttal to “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” By Me, the Woman Who Wrote the Personal Ad
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August 22, 2022Wake Up, You Lazy Skin Sack. I’m a Songbird and It’s 4 A.M.
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August 10, 2022I Know I Said I’d Walk Five Hundred Miles for You, But I Am Now Having Second Thoughts
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July 29, 2022I’m Stacy’s Mom, and Here Are All the Things I’ve Got Goin’ On
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July 20, 2022Big Baby Brody Calls It a Career
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July 15, 2022I Am Ariel the Little Mermaid, and I’d Like to Be a Fish Again
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July 14, 2022I’m the Person in Charge of Printing Out the Entire Internet
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 28, 2022I’m the Last Bottle of Ketchup at Mar-a-Lago and I Live in a State of Constant Fear
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June 24, 2022The Virgin Mary Reclaims Her Birth Story
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 28, 2023A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor Swift
Recently
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September 29, 2023I’m Your Three-Year-Old Interior Designer and This Is Your New Home Makeover
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September 29, 2023Job Posting: Lead Bro for Vivek Ramaswamy’s Campaign
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September 28, 2023A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor Swift
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September 28, 2023Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with Reagan’s Ghost