McSweeney's Quarterly Subscriptions
“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
—The New York Times
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 11, 2021I’m Your Sudden Onset Adult Acne, and I’m Here to Destroy Your Face, Your Week, and Your Dignity
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February 10, 2021I’m Not Some Sort of Law Expert, I’m Just a Simple Lawyer Representing the Former President in an Impeachment Trial
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February 4, 2021The Terrible Things I Have Said and Done My Entire Life, and Right Up Until a Few Days Ago, Do Not Represent Me As a Person
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January 26, 2021I’m Being Censored, and You Can Read, Hear, and See Me Talk About It in the News, on the Radio, and on TV
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January 20, 2021It’s Me, OLD GUY, the Undeveloped Character in Your Screenplay
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January 15, 2021Even I, Satan, Am Appalled at the State of the Republican Party
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 11, 2021I’m 15th-Century Aztec King Ahuitzotl and I’m Kind of Uncomfortable with All the Human Sacrificing Going on Around Here
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January 8, 2021Dry January Is Shocked By Your Naïveté
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January 7, 2021I’m the 25th Amendment, and I’ve Been Waiting for This Moment My Entire Life
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January 6, 2021“You Fuckers Really Screwed This Up”: A Message from James Madison on the 2020 Electoral Count
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January 5, 2021Hi Teachers, It’s Me, the Google Classroom Private Comment Function, and I’m Here to Save the Day
Trending 🔥
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July 13, 2021Nobody Wants to Be a Serf Anymore
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July 14, 2021Dear HR: What Skin Color Emoji Am I Supposed to Use?
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July 12, 2021I Am an Alien Ambassador and I Only Wish to Speak to Your Richest Human
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
Recently
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July 23, 2021Summer in New York in an Increasingly Hot Climate Is Not a Good Enough Reason to Bare Your Shoulders in Public
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July 23, 2021Six Ways You Have Utterly Failed Your Child, According to a Pediatric Dentist
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July 23, 2021An Open Letter to the #OWNVOICES Movement
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July 22, 2021Apologies Women Need to Make (Sorry, It’s True!)