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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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March 30, 2022I’m Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
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March 25, 2022I Am the Top Humidifier According to Wirecutter and I Can’t Take the Pressure Anymore
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March 9, 2022I Am the Man Who Says “Ciao”
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March 3, 2022I, High-Powered Fashion Editor Miranda Priestly, Demand an Assistant Who Is Terrible
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February 23, 2022The Protagonist’s Best Friend Would Like to Stop Having to Shoehorn So Much Exposition into Their Dialogue
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February 18, 2022I’m Abraham Lincoln and I Beg of You, Please Commemorate My Birthday with Mattress Sales
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February 2, 2022Punxsutawney Phil Reckons with His Jungian Shadow
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January 28, 2022Hello, It’s Me, the Guy Who Gets Visibly Angry at an Image of Minnie Mouse in a Pantsuit
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January 12, 2022Ho There! I Am a Nineteenth-Century Iron Worker and I Await the Day This Factory Is Refurbished into an Up-Market Food Hall
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January 4, 2022I’m HBO Max, and Oh My God, What Is It Now?
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November 17, 2021I’m Captain Ahab and I Say We Must Never Transition Away from a Whale-Based Energy Industry
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November 9, 2021I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I, Too, Had a Brief Relationship with Pete Davidson