LEST WE FORGET THE HORRORS
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 9, 2018I’m Just a Misunderstood Marbled Crayfish (Overlord) Who is Certainly Not Planning World Domination
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February 2, 2018I’m Some Guy’s Ill-Informed Political Twitter Thread
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January 11, 2018The Sad Trombone’s Lament
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December 14, 2017Yes, And I’m in Love With a Straight White Man Who Teaches Me Improv 101!
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December 6, 2017Hi, I’m the Dad You Hate at the Baby Birthday Party You’re Obligated to Attend
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December 5, 2017I Am Raw, Selvedge Denim
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December 1, 2017I Am the Melted Skull of Nazi Major Arnold Toht, the Ruthless Gestapo Agent With the Burned Hand In Raiders of the Lost Ark, and I Appreciate Your Sudden Interest In My Thoughts and Feelings
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November 21, 2017Marina Abramović is Your Kid’s New Soccer Coach and the Team is Down by Nine Goals at the Half
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November 14, 2017I Do Not Recall Whether or Not I Am Jeff Sessions
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October 31, 2017The Ghost That’s Haunting Me Mansplains How Breathing Works
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October 23, 2017I Am the Picasso of Wine and Painting Night
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October 20, 2017I’m a Millennial With a Microphone Strapped to My Head, So You Better Listen to Me
Trending 🔥
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 30, 2020Would-You-Rathers for Parents During Quarantine
Recently
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July 7, 2020My Toddler Emails a Complaint to Customer Service
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July 7, 2020An Open Letter to Straight Couples Who Have Been Quarantining Together After Only Dating For a Few Weeks From a Lesbian Who’s Been There Before
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July 7, 2020
This Has Been Happening Forever, But Never So Close to Me -
July 7, 2020I Do Not Choose to Write My 902-Page Fantasy Ninja Thriller — I Am Compelled To