McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 3, 2017Monologue: Oh, Am I Ever Angry With the Opposing Sports Team Right Now!
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February 1, 2017Monologue: My Very Good Black History Month Tribute to Some of the Most Tremendous Black People
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January 27, 2017Monologue: A Proctor’s Introduction to an Extremely Unstandardized Test
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January 26, 2017Monologue: I’m a Flawed Character from a Critically Acclaimed Television Show
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January 23, 2017Monologue: I Bring the Soul-Defiling Spirit of True Norwegian Black Metal to Our Corporate Office Environment
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January 12, 2017Monologue: I Tried to Order Coffee During a Date, But Had a Crisis About Systemic Bias Instead
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January 11, 2017Monologue: Vsem Dasvidaniya!: An Expelled Russian Diplomat Says Goodbye to NYC
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January 9, 2017Monologue: Simone de Beauvoir: SAT Tutor
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January 4, 2017Monologue: President Obama’s Final Weekly Address
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January 3, 2017Monologue: I’m the Female Voice in a Shoe Commercial and I’ve Accidentally Swallowed This Super Fab Stiletto
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December 20, 2016Monologue: I Hope Russian Hackers Don’t Expose the Secret Emails With My Real-Life Secret Boyfriend, Jason Momoa!
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December 15, 2016Monologue: A New Mother Runs Into an Old Friend Who Doesn’t Recognize Her, But It’s OK Because She’s Totally Chill About It
Trending 🔥
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October 10, 2018My Common App Essay: “Every School Reading This Except Dartmouth Sucks Ass”
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 8, 2018Matreon: The Patreon Platform for Emotional Labor
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October 12, 2018I Am Sick and Tired of Constantly Being Bullied for My Extreme Wealth and Political Power
Recently
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October 19, 2018Stoning Our Neighbors to Death Makes the Corn Grow High, and Elitist Liberals Should Stop Attacking This Traditional Value
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October 19, 2018Animals Got Problems: Everyone Is Exhausting
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October 19, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Levelers and Sharpeners
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October 19, 2018Letter of Recommendation for a Basic Male MFA Applicant