McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
August 10, 2022I Know I Said I’d Walk Five Hundred Miles for You, But I Am Now Having Second Thoughts
-
July 29, 2022I’m Stacy’s Mom, and Here Are All the Things I’ve Got Goin’ On
-
July 20, 2022Big Baby Brody Calls It a Career
-
July 15, 2022I Am Ariel the Little Mermaid, and I’d Like to Be a Fish Again
-
July 14, 2022I’m the Person in Charge of Printing Out the Entire Internet
-
July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
-
June 28, 2022I’m the Last Bottle of Ketchup at Mar-a-Lago and I Live in a State of Constant Fear
-
June 24, 2022The Virgin Mary Reclaims Her Birth Story
-
June 21, 2022Batman Contemplates the Non-Existence of Masturbation in the DC Universe
-
June 3, 2022I Am a Carnivorous Kestrel Falcon with Postpartum Depression
-
May 19, 2022This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Partner—So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy the Town!
-
May 9, 2022I’m the Producer of This Biopic and Here’s Why We Made It Despite Objections from the Subject, Their Family, and the General Public