Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 3, 2017Monologue: Oh, Am I Ever Angry With the Opposing Sports Team Right Now!
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February 1, 2017Monologue: My Very Good Black History Month Tribute to Some of the Most Tremendous Black People
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January 27, 2017Monologue: A Proctor’s Introduction to an Extremely Unstandardized Test
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January 26, 2017Monologue: I’m a Flawed Character from a Critically Acclaimed Television Show
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January 23, 2017Monologue: I Bring the Soul-Defiling Spirit of True Norwegian Black Metal to Our Corporate Office Environment
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January 12, 2017Monologue: I Tried to Order Coffee During a Date, But Had a Crisis About Systemic Bias Instead
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January 11, 2017Monologue: Vsem Dasvidaniya!: An Expelled Russian Diplomat Says Goodbye to NYC
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January 9, 2017Monologue: Simone de Beauvoir: SAT Tutor
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January 4, 2017Monologue: President Obama’s Final Weekly Address
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January 3, 2017Monologue: I’m the Female Voice in a Shoe Commercial and I’ve Accidentally Swallowed This Super Fab Stiletto
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December 20, 2016Monologue: I Hope Russian Hackers Don’t Expose the Secret Emails With My Real-Life Secret Boyfriend, Jason Momoa!
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December 15, 2016Monologue: A New Mother Runs Into an Old Friend Who Doesn’t Recognize Her, But It’s OK Because She’s Totally Chill About It
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August 12, 2019List: Critically Acclaimed Horror Film of the 2010s or Your Ph.D. Program?
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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August 9, 2019We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter
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August 25, 2016I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Write the Syllabus for Your Class
Recently
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August 19, 2019No Son of Mine Is Going to Be a Benthamite Utilitarian. This Is a John Stuart Mill Family, Dammit!
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August 19, 2019List: Dick Jokes for People Who Claim They Don’t Like Dick Jokes
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August 19, 2019Monologue: A Future Message From Generation X’s Reverse Mortgage Pitchman, Trent Reznor
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August 16, 2019Welcome to Medical School, Where We’ll Teach You Everything Except How to Talk to Patients