Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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January 3, 2017Monologue: I’m the Female Voice in a Shoe Commercial and I’ve Accidentally Swallowed This Super Fab Stiletto
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December 20, 2016Monologue: I Hope Russian Hackers Don’t Expose the Secret Emails With My Real-Life Secret Boyfriend, Jason Momoa!
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December 15, 2016Monologue: A New Mother Runs Into an Old Friend Who Doesn’t Recognize Her, But It’s OK Because She’s Totally Chill About It
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December 9, 2016Monologue: The Grim Reaper is Just Your Everyday, Average Millennial
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December 3, 2016Monologue: Dad of Newborn Girl Explains the Importance of Women’s Issues to a Table of Women at a Coffee Shop
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December 2, 2016Monologue: Jimmy Fallon’s 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner Speech
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December 1, 2016Monologue: A Shonda Rhimes Monologue for the Millennial Woman
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November 30, 2016Monologue: My Very Real, Totally Not Imaginary Canadian Girlfriend Responds to Those Who Doubt Her Existence
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November 22, 2016Monologue: As I Prepare for the TSA to Ravage My Afro for Weapons
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October 27, 2016Monologue: Rick Bayless’s Wife Weighs In On Tonight’s Dinner Plans
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October 26, 2016Monologue: Hello, I’m a Social Justice Warrior, and I’m Here to Take Your Guns
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October 24, 2016Monologue: I’m a Person-Shaped Colony of the Measles Virus, and I Want Your Vote!
Trending 🔥
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July 11, 2018Abortion is Immoral, Except When It Comes to My Mistresses
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May 8, 2019Hello, I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door
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May 20, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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May 13, 2019Yeah Sex Is Cool, But Have You Tried Being a Woman In Your 30s?
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May 23, 2019List: Cost Saving Advantages of Perimenopause
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May 23, 2019
Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: I Want a Friend -
May 23, 2019The Thing I Need Most In My Life Right Now Is a Purpose-Driven Paper Towel Brand
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May 23, 2019Dispatches From a Guy Trying Unsuccessfully to Sell a Song in Nashville: Dispatch 49: Wrecking My Car, Part I