Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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December 3, 2016Monologue: Dad of Newborn Girl Explains the Importance of Women’s Issues to a Table of Women at a Coffee Shop
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December 2, 2016Monologue: Jimmy Fallon’s 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner Speech
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December 1, 2016Monologue: A Shonda Rhimes Monologue for the Millennial Woman
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November 30, 2016Monologue: My Very Real, Totally Not Imaginary Canadian Girlfriend Responds to Those Who Doubt Her Existence
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November 22, 2016Monologue: As I Prepare for the TSA to Ravage My Afro for Weapons
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October 27, 2016Monologue: Rick Bayless’s Wife Weighs In On Tonight’s Dinner Plans
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October 26, 2016Monologue: Hello, I’m a Social Justice Warrior, and I’m Here to Take Your Guns
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October 24, 2016Monologue: I’m a Person-Shaped Colony of the Measles Virus, and I Want Your Vote!
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October 21, 2016Monologue: Why Won’t You Kids Go to Sleep and Let Me Read Badfinger’s Wikipedia Page in Peace?
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October 20, 2016Monologue: The New Smoothie Place Around the Corner is Delicious and Definitely Not a Cult!
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October 19, 2016Monologue: I Work at the Desk Next to You, and Did You Know I Just Saved Fifteen Seconds Using Keyboard Shortcuts?
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October 17, 2016Monologue: I’m One of Those Nice Guys
Trending 🔥
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 5, 2019I Support Strong Women of Color Unless They Are Politically to My Left
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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April 11, 2017Anything Men Can Do I Can Do Bleeding