McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
April 6, 2022From Now On, the Fast & Furious’s Dominic Toretto Will Only Drive a Honda Odyssey
-
March 31, 2022Maggie May Has Something to Say to You Too, Rod
-
March 30, 2022I’m Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
-
March 25, 2022I Am the Top Humidifier According to Wirecutter and I Can’t Take the Pressure Anymore
-
March 9, 2022I Am the Man Who Says “Ciao”
-
March 3, 2022I, High-Powered Fashion Editor Miranda Priestly, Demand an Assistant Who Is Terrible
-
February 23, 2022The Protagonist’s Best Friend Would Like to Stop Having to Shoehorn So Much Exposition into Their Dialogue
-
February 18, 2022I’m Abraham Lincoln and I Beg of You, Please Commemorate My Birthday with Mattress Sales
-
February 2, 2022Punxsutawney Phil Reckons with His Jungian Shadow
-
January 28, 2022Hello, It’s Me, the Guy Who Gets Visibly Angry at an Image of Minnie Mouse in a Pantsuit
-
January 12, 2022Ho There! I Am a Nineteenth-Century Iron Worker and I Await the Day This Factory Is Refurbished into an Up-Market Food Hall
-
January 4, 2022I’m HBO Max, and Oh My God, What Is It Now?
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
June 30, 2025Why I, Cinderella, Support the Supreme Court’s Book Ban
-
June 27, 2025I Have No Idea Why I’ve Suddenly Started Thinking About the 1917 Russian Revolution
-
June 27, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Water Pressure
-
June 27, 2025I Can’t Wait to Enjoy This Baseball Game After About Two Hours and Thirty-Six Minutes of Getting Settled In