McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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November 30, 2016Monologue: My Very Real, Totally Not Imaginary Canadian Girlfriend Responds to Those Who Doubt Her Existence
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November 22, 2016Monologue: As I Prepare for the TSA to Ravage My Afro for Weapons
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October 27, 2016Monologue: Rick Bayless’s Wife Weighs In On Tonight’s Dinner Plans
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October 26, 2016Monologue: Hello, I’m a Social Justice Warrior, and I’m Here to Take Your Guns
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October 24, 2016Monologue: I’m a Person-Shaped Colony of the Measles Virus, and I Want Your Vote!
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October 21, 2016Monologue: Why Won’t You Kids Go to Sleep and Let Me Read Badfinger’s Wikipedia Page in Peace?
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October 20, 2016Monologue: The New Smoothie Place Around the Corner is Delicious and Definitely Not a Cult!
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October 19, 2016Monologue: I Work at the Desk Next to You, and Did You Know I Just Saved Fifteen Seconds Using Keyboard Shortcuts?
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October 17, 2016Monologue: I’m One of Those Nice Guys
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October 14, 2016Monologue: I’m the Person Everyone is Trying to Convince Not to Vote for Donald Trump on Social Media
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October 4, 2016Monologue: Wedding Vows to My Work Wife
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September 30, 2016Monologue: An Impassioned Plea From a Gary Johnson Swing State Precinct Captain
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January 9, 2019I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My First Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m In Narnia and I Can’t Get Back Home
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January 10, 2019List: Top Dinner Suggestions According to a Three-Year-Old’s Eating Habits
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January 14, 2019The Life-Changing Magic of Keeping Absolutely Everything
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January 18, 2019FAQ: The Status of the Shits Women Have Left to Give