Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 14, 2016Monologue: I’m the Person Everyone is Trying to Convince Not to Vote for Donald Trump on Social Media
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October 4, 2016Monologue: Wedding Vows to My Work Wife
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September 30, 2016Monologue: An Impassioned Plea From a Gary Johnson Swing State Precinct Captain
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September 29, 2016Monologue: I Wish I Had More Than Eight Minutes With a Patient to Show Him I Don’t Care If He Lives or Dies
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September 21, 2016Monologue: I’m Mad as Hell, and I’m Only Going to Put Up With It for Another Ten or Fifteen Years
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September 13, 2016Monologue: I’m EpiPen and I Haven’t Changed One Bit
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September 9, 2016Monologue: Son, Don’t Make Any Weird Faces During This Sporting Event or You’ll Probably Become an Internet Meme
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September 8, 2016Monologue: Hi, I’m a Mentally Ill Person as Portrayed in a Movie!
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August 22, 2016Monologue: Assuming My Alcohol Ankle Monitor is Off, My Wife’s Incarceration is Over and I Can Get my Swimsuit Fixed, I Plan to Kick Some Ass at the 2020 Summer Olympics
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August 19, 2016Monologue: A Mother Gives Her 30-Something Daughter “The Talk.”
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August 5, 2016Monologue: Objection, Your Honor! It’s Time For My Moving, Heartfelt Closing Speech in This Movie About a Trial!
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August 3, 2016Monologue: I Am Morgma the Mauler, Lord of Your Local Apartment Rentals
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 5, 2019I Support Strong Women of Color Unless They Are Politically to My Left
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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April 11, 2017Anything Men Can Do I Can Do Bleeding