Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 28, 2017Mary, 487 Thunder Road, Neptune, NJ
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February 23, 2017McCain the Elder at Pompeii
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February 22, 2017Betsy DeVos Delivers the Morning Announcements
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February 9, 2017I’m an Anthropomorphic Lady Jar of Mayonnaise and I’m Ready to Play Steve Bannon on Saturday Night Live
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February 8, 2017I, A White Female Trump Voter, Look Forward to the United States’ Impending War with Nordstrom
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February 8, 2017I Am the Host of a Travel Show That is an Elaborate Ruse to Mask My Intense Fear of Commitment
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February 6, 2017The First Law of Thermodynamics Has Had Enough of Your Shit
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February 3, 2017Oh, Am I Ever Angry With the Opposing Sports Team Right Now!
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February 1, 2017My Very Good Black History Month Tribute to Some of the Most Tremendous Black People
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January 27, 2017A Proctor’s Introduction to an Extremely Unstandardized Test
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January 26, 2017I’m a Flawed Character from a Critically Acclaimed Television Show
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January 23, 2017I Bring the Soul-Defiling Spirit of True Norwegian Black Metal to Our Corporate Office Environment
Trending 🔥
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 14, 2020How to Buckle Your Baby Into a Car Seat in 36 Easy Steps
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January 21, 2020If Your University’s Administration Ran a Polar Expedition
Recently
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January 27, 2020The Joker’s Defense Lawyers: “Our Client Did Nothing Wrong”
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 24, 2020Virginia Woolf Gets Locked Out of Her Room of One’s Own