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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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May 19, 2022This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Partner—So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy the Town!
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May 9, 2022I’m the Producer of This Biopic and Here’s Why We Made It Despite Objections from the Subject, Their Family, and the General Public
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May 5, 2022I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pig, Are the Bourgeoisie
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May 3, 2022We’re the Supreme Court, and We Should Have Used Protection
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April 20, 2022I’m the High School’s Theater Director, and I’ve Precast Every Role in This Upcoming Production of Bye-Bye Birdie
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April 12, 2022Jeff Goldblum’s Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1
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April 6, 2022From Now On, the Fast & Furious’s Dominic Toretto Will Only Drive a Honda Odyssey
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March 31, 2022Maggie May Has Something to Say to You Too, Rod
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March 30, 2022I’m Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
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March 25, 2022I Am the Top Humidifier According to Wirecutter and I Can’t Take the Pressure Anymore
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March 9, 2022I Am the Man Who Says “Ciao”
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March 3, 2022I, High-Powered Fashion Editor Miranda Priestly, Demand an Assistant Who Is Terrible
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April 25, 2024Grendel Must Have Immunity for Raiding Our Capitol, or Else Anyone Could Be Punished for Raiding Our Capitol
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April 25, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Mike Tyson, Marijuana Morsels, and the Difference Between Justice and Forgiveness
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April 25, 2024HR Pulls Your Kid in for a Performance Improvement Plan on Take Your Child to Work Day
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April 24, 2024Acknowledgments Page for the Email I Put Off for Seven Weeks and Finally Sent